What a week I had! I think that it makes up for all the times I traded a work out session for some (as in ‘a whole damn lot of‘) Ben & Jerry’s. 😉
My friend and I had to leave the house we lived in for the past year so we could save more money to visit our parents on Xmas and also travel a bit. So, we got ourselves a small flat close to the university (in a dormitory). It’s really nice and the rooms here are bigger than in most dormitories. A little bit more expensive than a tinier one, obviously, but worth it. We’re like a few steps away from college and won’t have to worry about burning all our money on subway tickets!
As two very lame non-driver students, we had to move all our things by foot and with the help of the subway (thank God for that!). Safe to say it was very exhausting! Especially with the fact that the sun was out all week. I swear, ALL damn week long! We’ve had a few cloudy days the previous week but this week, we had next to no cloud in the sky and a very strong sun lighting our path. Awesome! x)
I’m not very sure of the numbers but I’ll try to give you an idea. Usually, we’d take 5 to 10 minutes to walk from the house to the metro station and 10 to 15 minutes from the other station to the dormitory. With the bags, it took twice as long and sometimes more as we had to take more breaks as we got more tired with each trip and with the sun. Eventually, it took us from one hour to one hour and a half to make a round-trip. From Monday, 5PM to yesterday 6PM, I think we made a round 16 round trips (maybe more).
One awesome thing though is that after we were done with the light paperwork and returning our keys to the landlord, he drove us near the dormitory. Our legs were delighted! 😀
So, it was a very long week which drained us quickly. We were already breaking on Wednesday. Ha ha!
Yesterday was really the hardest of all days. Our bodies were reaching the limit and I could barely walk in a straight line. But it’s over now and we got to rest. Last night, we had a nice dinner in a perfect little Asian restaurant. I also had the best night sleep in a while on a real damn mattress (after a year on inflatable mattresses or blankets simply laid on a wooden floor)! Weirdly enough, I feel really great today. 😀
So, on this sunny Saturday morning, I wanted to share with you a little something that this week has told me. Well, maybe not exactly told me, more like reminded me.
I believe it was on Tuesday when it crossed my mind. We were walking, and gasping for air under the sun in the parking lot, which is a nice bunch of feet from the dorm. We made a little stop under a tree’s shadow to take a little breather and also some time to whine about how tired we already were and how we couldn’t possibly move everything on time before Friday, 5PM. Then it hit me like it hadn’t in a while.
The ultimate jolt of energy.
It is that feeling that comes out of nowhere when you’re doing something really hard/exhausting and you’re reaching that limit and it feels like you’re going to break. It is that strength that comes out of nowhere just when you feel like you can’t bear it anymore. Well, maybe it doesn’t come out of nowhere actually. It is injected in your bloodstream by the rays of hope that pierce the sky as you realize you aren’t that far from the next step anymore. It is the sudden strength that seizes your body when you look up and can see the last set of stairs.
You’ve been through the rain, the storm, the heat, the harsh waves and you feel despair and darkness slowly crawl in the back of your mind, ready to spread and make you abandon ship. But then, the ocean shakes your ship and forces you to look up and there it is. Land ho! That spark of hope that is enough to keep you going. You see what I mean?
We were mostly fueled by applesauce this week. So, it was easy to get weak halfway through the first half of the journey. But then, we’d walk a few steps in the parking lot and see the bus stop and get that little jolt of energy to walk a little faster and get to sit there to rest a bit. The bus stop was our “Land ho!” moment. And sitting there felt like some cheaper version of Heaven. From there, we had only a few more steps to take to reach the building. So this helped rekindle the fire and get the engine running again, already rejoicing to the idea of putting the damn bags down in the room and take our shoes off for a moment.
The ultimate jolt of energy like a kick in the ass from a foot with the flesh of Hope and the shoe of Faith. It doesn’t erase the tiredness, the pain or anything, but it puts them way in the background because at that moment you really see how tiny they are, just details. And at that moment, all you think about is your goal and all you wanna do is get there and you will. This jolt of energy actually restores the state of mind you had before all the hardship, when you were ready to tear apart the world to get to where you were headed; back when you still had the naivety to believe that you could make it without bruises and in one piece.
Alright. I think you’ve got it by now! Ha ha. I might have went a little far with the words (as always) but I think I made my point! 😉
We live in hope. Hope lives within us. And often, it’s what keeps us alive. It’s a mix of wish and certainty. It is desire AND confidence which is why I believe it can make us so strong. You want it to happen but you aren’t just wishing, you know it will, you believe it will. So you stick around to see if it actually does because you can’t be sure, it’s still part-wish.
Alright. I’m almost done. Long read, I know! 😛
All of this was just for me to say that often people would give up a few steps before they reach their bus stop, the big tree’s shadow, because they were overcome with the hardship. And it’s sad.
Now, every time I feel I want to give up, I remind myself that maybe that means I ain’t that far from the last set of stairs so maybe I should keep going because ultimately I want to climb that damn building. It’d be a shame to go through the pain of going down the stairs that you managed to live through in the first place just because you can’t bear it anymore. I want to reach the next floor so why should I be thinking of going down?
So, if you feel like giving up, look for some place to rest and if you don’t see one, just sit exactly where you are and rest. Give your body and mind the time to gather more strength to go on and then keep going. I don’t think there’s ever a time where turning back is interesting. Think of it that way: going back will make you more tired too, so if you have to suffer some more, wouldn’t you it rather be to get a little closer to your goal?
Point made. I believe. 😉
Thanks for reading! ❤