“Fuck.”

“Fuck.” That’s what I’d scream out loud right now if I had no consideration whatsoever for my neighbors.

I’ve been having the most tiring and annoying first three weeks of school ever. There wasn’t a day where I didn’t get a fit of anxiety, even the tiniest. There wasn’t a day I got home with remains of strength to be somewhat productive or even eat. Every time I left the last class of each day, I was drained. Actually, I was drained not even thirty minutes after I got out of the comfort of my five walls. And I’ve had enough. I just want to feel kind of okay, even for a moment.

So, I’m saying fuck to everything and I’ll probably stay inside for a few days. It’s just saddening to make it out everyday and go through all the horribleness and then just realize that I’m forcing myself to stay in the damn class while I’m actually not picking anything up. I think I’m just trying to prove that I can fight it. But that doesn’t work. Cos what I usually end up doing is only fighting for the whole duration of the class and I hardly ever listen to the teachers. And that just feel like a waste of time and gosh, I’m so tired…

After my third mug of apple juice & rum I decided that I’m just going to watch LOTR until I fall asleep. I need to get my mind off of things. So, if you’re looking for me I’ll just be digesting my poisonous beverage while drowning in a see of hobbits, elves,Β dwarves, orcs and whatnot.

I just can’t bear to see another one of these days. Need a break.

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One thought on ““Fuck.”

  1. chloΓͺ come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im overwhelmed by worrries
    im so very tired too but i wont let you down your short story is great i eventually managed to print it but im .. PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CLASSES i dont know where i put your new mail address when im less tired we need a good talk iwass so busy in Gap i had no time to do anything else i just lmanaged sending you a little present as wellas a letter do smile and the day WHEN we can have a good talk will be just great love you!!!!!! claudie

    Like

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