My first adventure with Bob Ross


Oh, hi everyone! It’s been a while. I know. February took very unexpected turns but it is none of worries today. (I’ll definitely write about it later on, to reclaim my sanity!)

This post is about something bright and something I’m proud of!

I remember ever since I introduced the kids I mind to Bob Ross, Emily has been asking me when I would try to paint like him because he is “SOOO COOOL” and “WE LOVE BOB ROSS” and today we had the perfect conditions. Well, not so perfect since Emily wasn’t feeling good but it allowed us to chill. We were just going to do some simple drawing to wait and see if her headache would go away but then I had the idea! And finally, I got to try and create with Bob Ross!! ❀

I’d just like to point how amazing Emily and Adam are though. For one, for liking Bob Ross (among so many other “old” awesome stuff) but also for their patience, man… Emily had to sit this one out but Adam stuck through it. It took us one hour and a half to complete his 30 minutes painting and Adam kept at it. Sure, by the end of it he was getting a lil bit tired of it but… That is still 200% amazing, ain’t it?

Anyway. The painting we tried to reproduce was Change of SeasonsΒ and you can watch it on YouTube if you want to (and maybe try it out for yourself! πŸ˜‰ ). I already knew it wouldn’t be as easy as he makes it seem, but, to make it even harder, I was using pastels instead of actual paint. Obviously, it was a chill afternoon and I didn’t wanna get too messy with my acrylics!

Here’s a side to side of Adam’s and mine:

Overall, I am really proud of what I did! And proud of Adam for being so into it!

It was hard to follow him; he’s super fast! I had to pause every change of color (at least!) and then unpause ten minutes later when I was done catching up! Ha ha

But I was simply struggling with the pastel itself. I’m still not very used to the media even though the winter landscape tutorial I followed last month helped me understand it better (Oops! I forgot to post it on here… Will do later, promise!). The main struggle was that the colors kept mixing. Like, for example when trying to get some white on the mountains, it would just mix with the dark brown underneath. Basically, everything with the palette knife was hard for me to reproduce with pastels.

Also, I ran out of space for the whole painting. At first I was like, “oh, his canvas is square and my paper is rectangle….” but it didn’t hit me that I would run out of space instead of having too much! When I got to the mountain, I got way too excited because it was so fun and they came out very nicely. And so we went on, and then I realize that he has loads of dark paint left under the mountains and I look at my page and… Oops! I still managed to fit a little bit of water at the very bottom of the page though! Ha ha ha

“No mistakes, just happy accidents”

It was loads of fun though. And I loved how Adam was really into it too! Not as hard as I expected but still hard, especially with my silly pastels instead of brushes. Without a doubt, it was a lovely activity to end the afternoon!


I’ve always thought that Bob Ross & chill would be a perfect date for me. And after that, I can only confirm it would be the most perfect one! Not necessarily for a date either! I think it is a nice bonding experience! Whether it be with a friend, a family member or your lover; YES.

It might not be as relaxing as you’d expect it to be. Sometimes it is more of a Panic! with Bob Ross than “Chill” but it is fun! And once you’re done, you can only be proud of having made a thing, no matter what it looks like.

This literally made me so happy! Wow!

I’ll leave you with a slideshow of my progression. Pretty sure it took us around an hour and a half but I didn’t check exactly so I can’t really tell. He he.

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Until next post, keep the light on! ❀


Last drawing of the year…


*insert ominous music here*

Ha ha ha! This is actually a pretty hopeful drawing! I drew it earlier while I was watching a horror movie. I really wanted to sketch something quickly, looked around and saw my hand. At first, I didn’t want to do it because I knew it would be hard but then I realized, wtf, the struggle will teach you, don’t cower from it! And so I gave it a shot. And it turned out not so bad, my crooked hand…


It’s all in the palm of your hands… Your dreams, your life; all of it. Grab your reality by the neck, tell it “You belong to me!” and make it what you want it to be! 2018 is yet another year to make things happen.


I know it’s not been easy. You all got your personal lot of hard times and I know it’s all so heavy. But you made it so far, and that is in fact a beautiful thing. You’ve been brave, you’ve been strong and you’ve been so much more. Now, keep on searching for the light, guys, there’s so much good to come! ❀


2017 Christmas paintings!


Just as it happened last year, this year’s Christmas presents were… uhm… rushed for a little bit? And almost lead to a mental breakdown and coffee overdose. Good times. All in the name of love! Ha ha

No charcoal this time. All acrylics. On small canvas. Don’t remember the dimensions but pretty tiny squares and then a bigger one for my Irish family.

So, I made a portrait of my little nephew for my sister. And then painted two pictures from this year’s New Year’s celebrations for my mom and brother (on which they look nothing like themselves). And finally, I made a portable peaceful shelter for my best friend so she can always have a place to turn to when stressed out/depressed/in need for more dreams and less life.

My mom is a beautiful woman and my brother is a pretty silly boy so I felt terrible while painting these because their faces were so distorted. But it was made with so much love and they loved it in the end so that’s what matters. And my bf just received hers as I write this and she told me she shed a few tears. Soo… Mission accomplished! Not perfect work but intense love for sure!

Then, for my Irish family, I painted that one picture of us that we took on the night of the Late Late Toy Show on December 1st. Which is the only picture of all of us together we had at the time I started it. I wanted to make the smiley faces at first but I must admit that when I laid it down at first, I decided to go for the actual faces… However, since I was exhausted and running out of time, I ended up covering them up with the bright yellow smiley faces in the end.

My host parents loved it so much and it makes me SUPER DUPER happy! The real big gift was being with them this whole blessed season of Christmas. A home away from home. I have so much love and admiration for them.


Although I am not a 100% satisfied with the end results, I am delighted that my love got through and that they all appreciated the fruit of my hard work. And that is what truly matters in the end, to hell with perfection!

That was a lot of hard work in such short time. I’m glad I didn’t actually lose my mind to it! And it was actually a very condensed practice for my drawing and painting skills also which will, I sure do hope so, prove to have been very efficient in the future. I don’t know when I’ll try to paint again because that was a lot at once and I might need a looooong break before the intensity and bittersweet aftertaste fade out in the echoes of their thank yous and smiles.

Also, I’d just like to let you know that trying out new techniques, new things, straight onto a project that is important and to be finished fast is not really a super wise idea. But if the pressure gets you off, who am I to judge? πŸ˜‰ I had never used a palette knife before doing my nephew’s portrait and I have zero experience painting people, but I jumped right in. Sometimes leaving yourself no choice is the best way to take a leap and learn to fly??

Until next time, keep the love flowing! ❀

My sister’s birthday present!


It’s about time I share with you the painting I did for my sister’s birthday back in September!


I was a little late since it was on the 29th, which was five days after Adam’s birthday and I honestly FORGOT. First time it ever happened to me to actually forget something so big! But I was just so focused on my little boy’s birthday present and also my whole au pair experience that I literally forgot about my amazing sister’s b-day! I remembered the night before and I knew I was fucked…

So, as the thought brutally hit me and the Universe reclaimed my heart back since I didn’t need one anyway, I jumped on my sketchbook (that she gave me btw) to find the best idea. And, thank G*d, I figured it out almost instantly; it was pretty easy.

My sister had been harassing me for the past few days with a tutorial video she found online about how to paint a tree using acrylics and she was like “I want a blue, a green, a red, and also a yellow one” or whatever. And I told her, “Well, you better get to work now!” And she insisted “But I wanted you to paint it for me… *puppy eyes*”. And so did I, “I gave mom a few brushes and nice acrylic paints too the other day. You should borrow it from her and practice for the trees.” Of course, in the back of my head I was thinking of making one for her eventually one day but little did I know (I should’ve!) that her birthday was just around the corner…



Of course, just the tree seemed a little too “basic” for me. Like, “you’ve asked, there you go”. And that’s not how birthday presents should be. Sure, it’s more than okay to give what a person actually expressed orally that they wanted. But is that really enough? Not for someone that matters this much to me. Happy birthday means thanks for existing (still) and I’m thankful to have known you for so long. And my sister has practically raised me alongside my mom. She was my second mom as I used to call her, or more like my dad since I used to give her the school’s presents for Father’s day haha So I had to bring some more symbolic in there and make her feel something more intense when she’d look at it!


February 1997 (a 5-month-old piece of fat)

And so, I thought about this beautiful picture of her holding me as a baby. It’s one of my favorite pictures ever and since I have it with me, I figured I could easily blend it in the painting of the tree; some way, somehow. And so I did.

Blended her body with the tree’s trunk and roots because she is my roots and solid ground. She carried me along the way, lifted me up and made me into the strong woman I am still becoming. She is my mom and my home. And so here we are in the center of the painting, hugging and glowing together. Her favorite color is green and one of mine is yellow. And the reason I went for blue for the leaves rather than her favorite color is because it is my mom’s favorite color and the ocean’s and it has always been for me a motherly color. A strong and warm(yeah I know it’s not technically but to me, yes), comforting color, surrounding us, holding us together.

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Sure, I was late and I got the idea really quickly, didn’t put a large amount of thought into it. But I put lots of hours working on it and lots of heart into it also! There’s a lot of meaning in there and it’s also very pleasing to look at. And most importantly, my sister loved it! What more could I ask for?

Until next post, love, love with all you’ve got! ❀

P.S.: If you’re reading this, je t’aime Lucie πŸ˜‰

DIY pencil holder


Today, I finally finished a little DIY I had pending and waiting in my closet for a week now. It is nothing new to me for it is something I have been doing forever since my sister taught me. In the house, we’ve always been about reusing stuff, creative recycling and just plain don’t-throw-too-much-away-we-don’t-have-money-to-buy-loads-of-stuff-so-build-your-dreams-yourself!

When I was younger, my beautiful sister introduced me to toilet rolls recycling. And as it turns out, when you just stop for a minute before you throw something in the bin, you realize there’s so much more adventure ahead of it. Also, I’m not gonna lie, my sister and I are basically hoarders and we just have that tendency to just keep things, “in case”. But anyways, not the story I’m telling today!IMG_20171111_124742.jpg

So, what I made is a pencil holder. Something that can always come in handy AND also make your desk look more organized and stylish (given these are things you aspire for). Now, they sure do sell really cool stuff out there. Simple, straight-to-the-point ones and crazier ones. Colorful, weird shapes, only one simple cup or dozen of compartments to fit a thousand pens. But, when you’re looking to save money you don’t even have, toilet paper rolls will do just fine. And you only need seven and a little bit of time!


What I love the most about this is that it’s really easy to make and once you’ve gather enough rolls, it’s ready in a matter of minutes! And you can customize it any way you want!!!

I went for an “unfinished” type of look. I really didn’t need it to be perfect or anything so I tried to make it look cool without doing too much either. AND I’d like to point out that I did put some orange on there even though I hate the color. I wanted to go for a colorwheel feel but put another color instead of or**ge and then I decided why the fuck?Β  Why should orange have less opportunities to shine than any other color just cos i don’t like it? Why should i treat colors different than people? And I just put it on! Well, quite a story we have there… haha

How to? Here are the easy steps to follow:

  • Gather enough toilet paper rolls. Seven will do but you can get more if you want a bigger pencil holder! I used six and a long one from a kitchen roll for the middle.IMG_20171111_120431.jpg
  • Get a piece of paper or cardboard and dispose your rolls on it however you want them to go. I usually do a flower shape like on the picture, with the longest one in the middle. Then trace it around them and cut the paper into the right shape.
  • Then, you just stick it onto the paper/cardboard so you have a more solid base and also, so the pencils won’t fall off if you move it around. Honestly, if you’re just going to leave it on your desk, you might not even need to do that, just glue/tape the rolls together and the trick is done! πŸ˜‰
  • Then you just paint it or you don’t. You can do whatever you want to make it look good to you and blend into your desk paysage. And there you have it, a brand new pencil holder exactly how you need it!

That’s how I’ve been making them since forever. But you can get more creative with it if you feel like it. There’s tons of different ways you can revisit it and make it your own. We all don’t have the same pencil needs. Ha haΒ IMG_20171111_120436.jpg

I, for example, added a little(very very small, man; I didn’t think it through) compartment in the front for paper clips and whatnots. Right now I only put googly eyes in it but ya know.

I like having a tall one in the middle so I can put different things in there like rulers or plastic flowers! It turns out it was the perfect size for my long paintbrushes so they can now finally enjoy the fresh air out of their case. Besides, I think it makes it look even cooler to have brushes in there; it screams “I’M An ARtIsTT So?” πŸ˜›

Color-coding isn’t exactly my thing but I guess it can be a good idea to organize your compartments. Also, if you really have loads of time on your hands, you can add a little top on one or many of them to put stuff other than pens in there. You can also tie a string in there and hang it somewhere. And you can also cut the rolls in half and and make smaller compartments for other stuff.

Endless possibilities… I got your attention focused on the toilet rolls, now you go and be creative about it and fill your house (don’t, please) with useful toilet diy!

I do realize this post would’ve been much more interesting to look at had IΒ  thought about taking more “step by step” pictures. But I just had no intention of posting about that. Only this morning I figured I should post about it now that it’s finished, because, considering the reaction of my Irish family, this is not exactly what comes into mind when you see the end of your toilet paper roll. Sharing is caring! Save the rolls!

My room is still pretty messy but, excuse me, I’m still trying to figure out how to work on everything I care about all the while doing my job and being the best version of me that I can be each day(even when sick/exhausted/out of it) for the kids and also socialize and go out and explore. It’s really hard. HOW! But yeah, at least I have a cool pencil holder now and my small cupboard is not so messy anymore (unless you look inside… hehe)

Until next post, may your pencils never be homeless again! ❀

Oh Deer, let Light and Darkness kiss again!


 Last week, I unexpectedly joined my family for a picnic in the woods. And, little did I know that it would not only, bring me back on my feet (I had a miserable weekend) but also surprise me in the loveliest possible way: I saw a live deer.23336382_1615479725186097_207816256_o

Growing up on my island, I spent loads of time with my nose stuck in books (mostly about animals or Egypt but honestly, just reading anything I could find lying around the house too haha) and I had never seen many animals which are pretty common in mainland France up until I went to Lille two years ago. Swans, magpies, and even ducks(I only saw a few when I was tiny but man, a long time ago..)!

I only finally saw them for real two years ago. Up until that point, it was all just book pictures in my head. Things I knew of, things I knew to be real but never actually saw with my own two eyes and so I did not have that feeling/relationship(?) with it. They had that mystery to them, some kind of magic that comes from only knowing something the way your imagination can conceive it.

And the first time I saw them, I was struck with awe. It’s almost like seeing my childhood heroes. I remember those long hours spend lying on the floor or on a couch just staring at these glossy pages in the books, examining every inch of each picture just to get a somewhat clear memory of it engraved in my mind.

I am really happy, though, to be able to say that seeing them IRL does not take away the magic but only adds on, and also more frills. Nature is scary beautiful in that fragile-though-almighty way.

When I saw the deer, my brain just went *blop* *happy* and also, many (MANY) flashbacks to the Hannibal tv series… Ha ha! I had a small though intense phase last year where I got a tad bit obsessed with deer and drew loads of them. It was at the time I had started watching Hannibal and was shamelessly embracing my love for horror and disgusting stuff. In midst all the blood and chaos, those deer that I drew brought in some light in my dark room and mind.

I got pictures of all the deer drawings that I did in that short period to display them right here, in this post, and look back with a bittersweet smile on my face.

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I honestly loved the Hannibal show. And I’d have so much to say about it, but I’d rather not enlarge on the matter. What I’m going to say though is that it brought a lot of good out me, a lot of inspiration and reflections on life, and art… And deer!! At that time, I was going through a rough patch and things weren’t really good at all; I was at war with myself and also being sat on fire by other beings whom I thought were worth all the burns (spoiler alert: they weren’t). It was a dark time but weirdly enough(or not at all), I found comfort in this show and it brought loads of good things into my mind.

And as I type this, I’m reminded that my Thomas Harris books stayed at my mom’s house, several thousand kilometers away from me and I’d love to dive back in Red Dragon now. Heartbreaking thought, I must confess. That book was so good! And what a shame I didn’t even have time to read the other two before I had to abandon them in my nest in order to take my leap and fly so far away from it. I’ll probably get mom to send them back to me or something at some point anyway, I just know it.

That deer was beautiful. I’m not going to lie, there was a drop of disappointment as my eyes found their way to the live body of what used to fuel my pencil on my sketchbook months ago. I was delighted to see a deer and really happy. And there was magic. But, the truth is that there is always that drop of disappointment.

Whenever you finally come to face with something you’ve only been dreaming about, reading about, looking at pictures of, it is here, in the back of your mouth or tickling the inside of your eyelids. That tiny drop of disappointment, tightly seated next to the tears of joy and surprise, keeping the back of your throat moist as you scream “Oh God, I’m alive!”. I think it is nearly impossible not to have expectations, as humans, as creatures that dream and hope. And, the longer the road you have to walk between the moment it first captures your attention and monopolizes parts of your mind and heart, the bigger the expectations (no matter how small), and the bitter the drop of disappointment.23269934_1615479551852781_2080742452_o

You will be excited, you will be delighted; happiness, tears, smiles and fire inside. But it’ll be here, whether you feel it or not. Sometimes, even through the happy storm, there will be more than one drop. You might not be able to feel it, but it’ll be here. It might not ruin your happy time, but it’ll be here. And I think it’s important to acknowledge that.

It’s a reminder in a way, isn’t it? That there is never just one emotion, one feeling, one sensation; never just one thing happening at once. Life is plural. There’s always lots happening at once. We’re always feeling so much at once. Different intensities, different temperatures, different shapes, different causes and different spots hit. But at once. And you get to decide where the focus is.

You can focus on the pebble in your shoe. And then, you can shift the focus and go on think about that headache you have now. And you can move that focus as much as you want, as much as your mind is able to before it runs out of energy. Or you can keep the focus on one point tiny as it may be and make it seem bigger than that big bright sun shining out your window. You get to choose. Or, at least you have the possibility to do so. The power is in your hands but I guess the battery can’t always be full enough to enjoy its wide range of possibilities.

I saw that deer and the second I did, as I had a miserable weekend and I still had my negative glasses on, I felt the drop of disappointment. And I swallowed it, and the taste lingered on but I didn’t mind it; I enjoyed it. I let it do its job and I minded my own business, took pictures of the deer and tried to get over the fact that “Wow, there is a real deer in front of me!”.

Trying hard not to make this a generalization but I’ve met quite a few people with a positive outtake on life, those striving for a happy existence, and I always feel like they are missing out on something. I’m not a pessimistic. I’m not an optimistic either. I might actually strongly be both and usually all at the same time because I’m a walking disaster. But I just don’t think that being positive and happy is about rejecting nor ignoring the dark bits, the negative points, the heavy stuff. I think it’s all about accepting light and darkness no matter the amount or diversity of what’s within you. It’s about accepting them as a part of life, as a part of you and dealing with them, and maybe just learning to co-exist again.

19250288_1615479531852783_348158042_oIn my opinion, those people that I’ve met wrongly believe that negative = bad. Sure, negative vibes are definitely bad news and can dismantle the strongest of ships and you don’t want them around. But, think about balance, think about Nature and how everything serves a purpose. Blocking out all sadness, negative thoughts, anything that’s not rainbows and butterflies is going to ruin you on the long run. These things are part of being a human and you can’t just wipe them out of the board because you want things to look neat.

Life is not neat. Humans are not tidy inside. And you have to let it in, let it happen, let it out, let it roll over you…

Some things you have to face and break, some things you just have to throw straightaway and others you just have to sit down and swallow and maybe get some ice cream to let it make its way down your throat. And it’s something you learn to do, like recycling!

You learn where to put the tin cans and the glass bottles and the papers; you learn what can be reused, what just goes to waste and what things don’t go together even though they will serve a similar purpose. And sometimes you don’t want to throw something away although it belongs in the bin but you figure out some clever way to turn it into something useful, something you can still keep in your home and you transform it with your own two hands.


learning on and on

There’s a required balance in all of that rickety machinery inside. And it doesn’t always make sense. It’s not a simple list of do’s and don’t’s. It’s complex but at the same time, so easy. The darkness is part of life, part of light. There are dark spots in light, and light spots in darkness. And you can’t just try to wipe one side out cos that’ll mess you up. Gotta find the right middle. Equilibrium.

I’ve learned and am still learning that it’s okay not to be okay. And it’s okay to feel down, to feel sad, to feel horrible, even when you’re in a happy place, with happy people and you are happy. Because life is not a monochrome painting. It’s as complex and simple and intense as a five-year-old’s painting. And it’s beautiful.

My darkness keeps getting brighter and my fire finally feels like it’s actually burning. I love sharing and I hope that through my words, music and art(and rare smiles?) I reach some hearts, minds or just the eyes, really and shed some darkness; the good kind. No matter how very few that might be, I hope that some people read me and that it makes them questions things, think, feel or just smile cos I’m so dramatic about everything it’s funny. I hope that whenever my darkness shines and people get a peek inside, I hope that it makes a difference to them, even the tiniest and that somewhere along the way, some way, somehow, it helps them.

Until next post, let yourself learn, and let your darkness shine. ❀