Untitled acrylic painting, 05.21.18

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Needed some practice before I start working on my mom’s and brother’s birthday presents. I haven’t painted anything since E’s b-day present!! So, I’m a little rusty and I want my family’s paintings to be as good as it gets!

So, I painted this, on a piece of cardboard:

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I originally intended it to be orientated “upside down” so that it would look like the blue flowers shed their leaves into the fire. But after thought, I realized it would be perfect the other way around! Anyways, here’s some details:

I am so proud of it, honestly! It came out a little messy since I didn’t plan anything, and so my layering was a little “nonsense”, as Emily&Adam like to put it. But the colors are so vibrant and the story it tells is subtle enough that it doesn’t refrain you from enjoying the vibrant colors!!

Yay 😀

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Watercolor portrait of Dee, 04.01.18

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Hi! Yesterday I was trying desperately to learn intervals on the guitar and do some sight reading too and what made it better was having Dee by my side.

For those who don’t know, Dee is the impersonation of my friendship with Esther and therefore is filled with love, darkness and weird. She gave him to me last Christmas and ever since he’s been like our little mascot! He’s always with us when we hang out!

So, as Dee had been staring at me for a couple hours and I needed a break, I figured I could use some watercolor practice and he deserved a beautiful portrait!

So here’s Dee in the woods. Sorta. Behold:

Big boy on his school picture! hehe

I’ve gotten better at watercolor since my first attempt when I bought some watercolor pencils(which have now been passed onto my best friend, Lilly)! But there’s still a long way to go…

It’s hard to control the water properly and also I have a hard time getting any details really. But I’ll get there!

I used pastel in the sky and a little bit in the dark areas below the trees too. Oh and for the black in his eyes since I don’t have black in my palette!

The trees were painted in the same style I made this watercolor back at my mom’s place last year.

I like it very much!! Took me longer than it should have but I’ve been very distracted lately and lacking energy too which renders me slower than usual.

Anyways. That’s probably gonna be my only art of the day!

I’ve got some guitar to do now and also, maybe before, go for a fucking walk to allow my mind to breathe a bit!

Just two more pictures! Side to side:

Until next post, practice, practice, practice! But don’t forget to take breaks, drink lots of water and stretch&move to keep your wonderful bodies and minds healthy! ❤

P.S.: I had forgotten to add the links to my previous posts like a silly goose I am! But it’s all fixed now! x)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER

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(this is not going to be a long post because I’ve already written her a long enough letter hehe and also I don’t have much time to write right now)

Today is Esther’s birthday! She is turning 19!

I’m really happy that she is my friend. She is so daring, caring, intelligent, funny, beautiful and much much more. She inspires me in many ways and just, really brings smiles to my face and warmth to my heart all the time.

I always rejoice in her presence, so much that, every week a part of me spends all its energy longing for the weekend when we finally meet again. We do the silliest things together and we open up our hearts too, sometimes all at once! And it’s a lovely bloody mess!

This is a beautiful thing that we have and, even though it is not my place to make a wish on this day, I surely hope that this friendship lasts and lasts and lasts…

So, anyway. Like I said, she got a letter already so I must cut this short!

I’m only here to share her birthday present which is, I quote, “the best present ever” and equally, possibly the most amazing piece I have ever created so far. Jk.

The reality of it is that it is a monstrosity that can only be appreciated by the two of us since it is a mash up of two of our inside jokes/homemade memes.

Behold, the painting:

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It is what it is. I won’t explain anything. We know and that’s what matters. Ha ha.

I spent a mere three hours working on it. Might have went faster had I not been laughing every step of the way! I swear, I was going for a simple thing and then the idea of our joke hit me and I was like “No…. YES!”. And I laid down the base for it on the canvas. And then the second one hit me and at first I was scared of what power was inspiring me such daring combination. And eventually I gave in.

It was such a fun painting to make. It’s always fun to make things for the people you love, anyway. But I mean, that one was literally funny to make! And, since she loved it so much, it makes it all even more worth it! I’m proud of it and I’m proud of us!

A couple years ago, hell, last year even(!), had you told me I would become friends with a Spanish girl I would’ve screamed “Get out of my face!”. But Life has a way to scratch you right on the itch… weird way to put it i know My many years of school had me develop a small aversion to the Spanish language so, of course, in my mind it would have been impossible. Yet, here we are. And she even has me wanting to learn Spanish again!.. Boy, if that ain’t love, I don’t know what is! 😉

I love you, Esther, tu vales mucho a mis ojos! ❤

BONUS: happy little deer with her love-infused monster

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fav person in fav coffee place with fav humor

2017 Christmas paintings!

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Just as it happened last year, this year’s Christmas presents were… uhm… rushed for a little bit? And almost lead to a mental breakdown and coffee overdose. Good times. All in the name of love! Ha ha

No charcoal this time. All acrylics. On small canvas. Don’t remember the dimensions but pretty tiny squares and then a bigger one for my Irish family.

So, I made a portrait of my little nephew for my sister. And then painted two pictures from this year’s New Year’s celebrations for my mom and brother (on which they look nothing like themselves). And finally, I made a portable peaceful shelter for my best friend so she can always have a place to turn to when stressed out/depressed/in need for more dreams and less life.

My mom is a beautiful woman and my brother is a pretty silly boy so I felt terrible while painting these because their faces were so distorted. But it was made with so much love and they loved it in the end so that’s what matters. And my bf just received hers as I write this and she told me she shed a few tears. Soo… Mission accomplished! Not perfect work but intense love for sure!

Then, for my Irish family, I painted that one picture of us that we took on the night of the Late Late Toy Show on December 1st. Which is the only picture of all of us together we had at the time I started it. I wanted to make the smiley faces at first but I must admit that when I laid it down at first, I decided to go for the actual faces… However, since I was exhausted and running out of time, I ended up covering them up with the bright yellow smiley faces in the end.

My host parents loved it so much and it makes me SUPER DUPER happy! The real big gift was being with them this whole blessed season of Christmas. A home away from home. I have so much love and admiration for them.

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Although I am not a 100% satisfied with the end results, I am delighted that my love got through and that they all appreciated the fruit of my hard work. And that is what truly matters in the end, to hell with perfection!

That was a lot of hard work in such short time. I’m glad I didn’t actually lose my mind to it! And it was actually a very condensed practice for my drawing and painting skills also which will, I sure do hope so, prove to have been very efficient in the future. I don’t know when I’ll try to paint again because that was a lot at once and I might need a looooong break before the intensity and bittersweet aftertaste fade out in the echoes of their thank yous and smiles.

Also, I’d just like to let you know that trying out new techniques, new things, straight onto a project that is important and to be finished fast is not really a super wise idea. But if the pressure gets you off, who am I to judge? 😉 I had never used a palette knife before doing my nephew’s portrait and I have zero experience painting people, but I jumped right in. Sometimes leaving yourself no choice is the best way to take a leap and learn to fly??

Until next time, keep the love flowing! ❤

My sister’s birthday present!

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It’s about time I share with you the painting I did for my sister’s birthday back in September!

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I was a little late since it was on the 29th, which was five days after Adam’s birthday and I honestly FORGOT. First time it ever happened to me to actually forget something so big! But I was just so focused on my little boy’s birthday present and also my whole au pair experience that I literally forgot about my amazing sister’s b-day! I remembered the night before and I knew I was fucked…

So, as the thought brutally hit me and the Universe reclaimed my heart back since I didn’t need one anyway, I jumped on my sketchbook (that she gave me btw) to find the best idea. And, thank G*d, I figured it out almost instantly; it was pretty easy.

My sister had been harassing me for the past few days with a tutorial video she found online about how to paint a tree using acrylics and she was like “I want a blue, a green, a red, and also a yellow one” or whatever. And I told her, “Well, you better get to work now!” And she insisted “But I wanted you to paint it for me… *puppy eyes*”. And so did I, “I gave mom a few brushes and nice acrylic paints too the other day. You should borrow it from her and practice for the trees.” Of course, in the back of my head I was thinking of making one for her eventually one day but little did I know (I should’ve!) that her birthday was just around the corner…

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Sacrifice ALL THE SLEEP WHO CARES?

Of course, just the tree seemed a little too “basic” for me. Like, “you’ve asked, there you go”. And that’s not how birthday presents should be. Sure, it’s more than okay to give what a person actually expressed orally that they wanted. But is that really enough? Not for someone that matters this much to me. Happy birthday means thanks for existing (still) and I’m thankful to have known you for so long. And my sister has practically raised me alongside my mom. She was my second mom as I used to call her, or more like my dad since I used to give her the school’s presents for Father’s day haha So I had to bring some more symbolic in there and make her feel something more intense when she’d look at it!

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February 1997 (a 5-month-old piece of fat)

And so, I thought about this beautiful picture of her holding me as a baby. It’s one of my favorite pictures ever and since I have it with me, I figured I could easily blend it in the painting of the tree; some way, somehow. And so I did.

Blended her body with the tree’s trunk and roots because she is my roots and solid ground. She carried me along the way, lifted me up and made me into the strong woman I am still becoming. She is my mom and my home. And so here we are in the center of the painting, hugging and glowing together. Her favorite color is green and one of mine is yellow. And the reason I went for blue for the leaves rather than her favorite color is because it is my mom’s favorite color and the ocean’s and it has always been for me a motherly color. A strong and warm(yeah I know it’s not technically but to me, yes), comforting color, surrounding us, holding us together.

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Sure, I was late and I got the idea really quickly, didn’t put a large amount of thought into it. But I put lots of hours working on it and lots of heart into it also! There’s a lot of meaning in there and it’s also very pleasing to look at. And most importantly, my sister loved it! What more could I ask for?

Until next post, love, love with all you’ve got! ❤

P.S.: If you’re reading this, je t’aime Lucie 😉

Untitled acrylic on paper, 2.16.17

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So, I kind of (totally) ruined the face on my portrait and  now I can’t bring myself to go back to working on it just yet. I had two pretty shitty days. Not completely shitty. Rather bittersweet but really tough on that bitter part. The taste still haunts the back of my mouth.

Anyways, so I painted this today instead of working on the portrait. I’m like really happy with how it turned out. All the colors put together and the texture and wow. Shame though that my pictures don’t really let it shine through. However, I have noticed that the pictures that I take on my phone do look a little better while I’m on my computer so I actually have a small hope now that you might see it in a slightly better quality that I do. I can NOT see the turquoise at the bottom of the painting on my phone, it’s like dark blue and on the computer is better. So yeah. Still frustrated though. Ha ha!16808739_1361814600552612_2145723990_n

I didn’t give this painting a name. It just doesn’t have one. It’s filled with sadness, hope and dreams is all I can say. I painted it while listening to a playlist of Wet’s songs on youtube. I just love their music and sometimes it’s really all I need to listen to.

I still haven’t completely lost my mind. But I hardly see myself surviving another month without a guitar in my bed. It’s just so hard, you know. I mean, I already don’t have a cat or a dog or anything, which is bad enough considering I grew up with pets and it’s such an empty life without at least one around. But no guitar just makes this whole thing more pointless. I can feel all my energy just being drained from my body and mind and pretty soon I’ll be a more literal mess.

I also am putting a lot of pressure on myself because this is important and it feels like it’s been three years since I last played. I have barely a one-year experience as left-handed player and it can just fade so fast in such short time. I’m gonna go crazy over guitar practice when I buy a new one because I’m just crazy about this whole thing and I’ve been slacking off so much ever since I was born and I gotta work or I’ll never get anywhere I’d like to. This is horrible.

Good things are coming my way in a little less than two weeks. There’s the rock show, the singing lessons, going to Paris to meet Kim and just, you know, still breathing! But right now, it just weighs on me a lot and it’s fucking hard. I’m still pushing through which is great, I guess. Not giving up, that’s good. But you know, I won’t lie. It’s really hard on me. And the mess I made with my portrait just kicked me down too. I’m in a real fragile place right now which makes me even more sensitive than usual.

I keep trying to be positive to make things fall into place thanks to the power of a positive mind, you know. But I’m like, on the floor right now and can’t get that frown off my face. I really hope I can manage to buy that guitar next month.

Alright, this post is going nowhere. So I’ll just end it here. If I keep writing, it’ll just be me saying on and on how tired I am and how my mind is cracking and I NEED GUITARASDFGHJKL

Fruits & vegetables ❤