Singing my blog post

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(Which you can read here if you’re curious. I also have a poem called “Color me undead”, which you can check out as well by clicking here!)

Yeah, that’s it. I just sat down with Breff’s guitar and sang the post. Haha

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What are you without me?/What you are without me

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After a two week break, I’m finally back to working on my voice and music! So, today I posted a Brandi Carlile cover on my channel: here. And I’m here to share with you something else.

It’s been a while since I wanted to do this, putting those two songs side by side in a video! At first I thought of working on a transition but then I thought “nah, fuck it”. So, no transition, just two brothers chilling together. Haha

As always, I got a lil tangled at the end of the second song but I still managed to keep a somewhat OK thingy going on there.

Anyways, no real big deal, and surely nothing new. But I think these are my two favorite songs I’ve written so far. I really like Dry Mouth also!!

Until next post, keep practicing! ❤

Untitled acrylic painting on cardboard, 06.20.18

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Have been encouraging my mom for so long to go back to creating and today, after one year of me having given her some art supplies, she made something!

When I arrived last Saturday, she was really excited when I gave her a brand new canvas and was already dreaming of what she could paint on it. And, last night, I showed her a Bob Ross video and she was both, blown away & inspired! So, this morning, after neverending chores, she painted something.

It was her first time ever truly painting (something other than the house’s walls and tables haha) with acrylics. She did it on a 180gsm piece of blue paper which could have not ended well, since she was using a little too much water. But, she nailed it!

She was really proud of the results and had loads of fun. Now, she keeps talking about practicing until she gets the hang of it so she can paint on the canvas. I mean, look at her!

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Lots of love for my mom! ❤

I’m flying home in three hours!!!

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I’ve got a He-Man shirt now!

I mean, don’t let the title fool you. I’m taking a plane to Paris and then once I’m there, I have to wait a couple five hours until my eleven-hour flight back home. So, basically, I’ll be home tomorrow morning!

I can hear Brandi Carlile singing in my head right now… Looks like I’m taking the hard way home!

Can’t wait to see everyone again!!

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Somewhere there’s a place where I find who I’m gonna be
A somewhere that’s just waiting to be found

Someone In the Crowd, from La La Land

Stressed out fire that can’t focus on sh*t

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There’s a fire in my bones, fire in my heart that guides me through the dark.

With one of the kids being off school earlier than usual today, my morning free time was halved. It wasn’t a surprise or anything, in fact, I was already prepared mentally for the struggle of it all. However, I feel like I didn’t make the most out of it… And, although I did do the work I had planned, I was left rather disappointed and frustrated by the end of it.

The truth is that, with the kids’ holidays last week, I hadn’t sung/played the guitar for more than nine days, and it left me rusty. And it’s always a hard pill to swallow when I come back from such a long break to find my voice all flat and powerless. I tried to power through it this morning, though. But I was so out of shape and the energy wasn’t there so it all came out wrong. And even though I did work, I felt like I hadn’t.

I can’t hide that it bothers me oh so very much not to be able to work quite as hard as I’d like lately, especially after this long break where it feels like it’s necessary to grind even harder! But I’m still trying to find comfort in the actions and reassure myself that, although I’m not doing as much as I’d like, I’m still doing something and that’s good. Even just a little bit everyday makes a huge difference in the end!

I’m flying for my official holidays this Friday and I’ve just been really focused on the idea of practicing as much as I can before I leave. I know I will still be able to work on my voice once I’m there, but it won’t be the same, as I won’t have all the theory books and my guitar and all my stuff…

But it’s just been so hard for me these past few weeks to get anything done at all! I blame it on the sun and the heat, which, even in very low doses, can render me pretty much useless. I don’t think it’s just that. There’s probably a lot of stress hiding in the shades also. About traveling a long way on my own, Esther leaving, all that’s to come after, etc.

And, I think that’s gotta be the main thing really that might make my body and mind so restless that they can’t focus on those things they enjoy so much! It’s all that I know will be coming after the holidays, when I come back and start setting the first stones to build this empire of mine. I am scared. I am excited. And I certainly am worried in ways I don’t think I’ve ever been before.

I’ve been trying to get down a rough esquisse of a plan to reassure myself, but so far, it’s proven harder than I thought it would. Because, as much as I’m all about “Fuck plans!”, I know that having kind of the big lines of the start of this big thing written down before my eyes would help me cope better with the idea of dreams becoming reality! And I think I’ll only be able to do that once I am back home, as the distance will give me a better view of the bigger picture!

And anyways, you know me, I’ll keep trying through the frustration and despondency. Even if that means I have to fail everyday. Because there’s nothing else I’d rather do and there’s nothing else worth getting tired & bruised over. I only have three days left, and I will try to fit as much theory and practice as I can into what’s left of free time until then. Tomorrow is theory day so we’ll see how that goes for me!!

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Even if that means I have to fail everyday, I’ll keep trying.

I hope that these three days get to be filled with as much vocal practice and theory (and Italian) as my dream-filled mind can allow in this very blurry moment of my life!

And same for you, reader! I hope that the rest of your week is filled with whatever it is you need/wish it to be. And I wish you to feel very content with the way it went as you take off your shoes on Friday night, ready to enjoy the weekend. I hope you shine really bright and that your days are sprinkled with many lovely little details to make you feel complete. ❤

Blessed.

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I went to the Fota wildlife park with Esther today. We spent a solid five hours in there just walking around and contemplating the immense beauty and wit of Nature.

It was such a magical experience! I saw so many animals I had never ever seen before like kangaroos, giraffes, lions and penguins.

Now, most of the animals there are endangered species which is a heartbreaking sight. They are all so beautiful and mighty and oh so deserving of the love & life the Earth unconditionally provides. And it is a terrible fact that they are struggling to still be a part of it all..

But I’m happy to know that there are places like Fota where they can be safe and treated like they deserve.

So, it was a really beautiful day out there, with my dear friend, E! And I feel so inspired now.

This was our last Sunday together before she goes back home! Which is pretty sad but I have yet to come to terms with the feelings, as I know that we will meet again on Thursday, the day before we both leave. And, therefore I know that the last goodbye hasn’t been said yet so it’s almost like it’s not happening..

Denial aside, I’m gonna miss her! And beautiful weekends like these together also!

Anyways. I’m really tired from the whole day walking so I’m off to bed early. Can’t wait for tomorrow so I can work on music again!

I’ll end this on the sweetest picture I took today:

This is all too precious. I am thankful beyond words. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how beautiful the universe is. I swear, this is so intense! Haha

Until next post, spread the love ❤