One month gone already!


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Today, it’s officially been one month since I’ve joined my lovely host family and since I am literally living in Ireland. It went by soooooo fast! So, after this busy week and busy weekend that I’ve had, I’m taking some time to breathe and look back a little, acknowledge what happened and squeeze out some more good juice out of these past few weeks.

The first two weeks went by in the blink of an eye. The kids adopted me pretty much instantly, to my greatest surprise. And I felt comfortable from the get-go. I knew from the moment I skyped with them that they were gonna be amazing but when I met them IRL, and after having spent just a day with them, I realized they were much more awesome than I could have imagined. I know I like to exaggerate and this might seem like it, but really, it isn’t. They are good people, so nice to me, easy-going and I feel oh so good around them.

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The routine wasn’t so hard getting into. It’s pretty simple really and it’s just a matter of getting used to it. I am still not able to wake up at 6am in order to have breakfast before the kids and get on with my business before I wake them up, but I’ll get there eventually. Having not had an organized life for the past two years and especially these last six months where I would just sleep whenever and paint/sing all day and sometimes go out to get food; it’s understandable. I need time. But this is just a detail. Once you know it, you just do it and it slides like butter on bread(what).

So, those first two weeks, I spent just adjusting to the schedule and trying to learn how to fit my painting and music in my free time. I spent a lot of time in the house; scared to go outside. But eventually I got to meet some Spanish au pairs and we hung out in town together. And just last week I met some French ones. Knowing that there are a handful of people other than my host family that are aware of me, is reassuring and I have no doubt that I will be able to build strong bonds with a handful of people during this year. I had a lovely weekend with Marta, a French au pair who lives really close to me; I really like her. And, surely, I will meet more people with whom I “click” and can enjoy something bigger together than just hanging out(nothing wrong with that but I need to walk in deeper waters, ya know).

I haven’t had much adventure going on just yet. Nothing crazy to tell. No big stories really. It’s been a really chill month. I adjusted very quickly and so did everyone else. I feel like I belong and not like a weird parasite that’s just sucking the life out of them. I feel good. They truly are amazing. And, having heard some other stories from the au pairs that I’ve met, I can only emphasize how LUCKY I am. My family is just the best and I’m happy.

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Blackrock Castle

I love feeling how we’re all just growing more and more comfortable with each other each day. Like I said, we were already pretty okay from the get-go. But we’re getting closer and it’s such a nice feeling to experience!

I love the talks I have with the parents in the mornings or evenings, when I’m having tea or when I get back home after a day on my own. And I love the different feelings I get from talking to the mom and from talking to the dad. The different topics and perspectives. They’re really cool people, sweet and chill; I love them. They care about me and it shows and I’ve grown so fond of them already. Like they’ve been gone all afternoon and evening to a wedding, and I swear I’m already missing them but I won’t admit. Ha ha!

I love the kids and how they try my patience sometimes and I just have to learn over and over. They help bring out the best of me. It’s not always easy, but they’re very sweet kids and they fill me with love. And my favorite thing right now is that, three days ago I taught them how to say “I love you mommy”(Je t’aime maman) in French and they just keep saying it to me. And it is so cute and, man. Pinch me, I’m dreaming! LIFE IS REAL

Simply put, I love everything about being an au pair, here and in this family. I know everything would’ve been and felt much different with some other people. But what I have right now is more than gold. I am so thankful!!! And I can’t wait for more days!

I will have more to say as the weeks and months go by. For now, this is all there is to be said. They rock, I love them, the city is beautiful, I’m happy and ready+fueled by their support to reach for the sky. This is more than I had dreamt of and man, is it beautiful to be where I’m at right now in my life.21935605_1575832765817460_1439178978_n

This week I’m starting my art class and I can’t wait to see what that’s going to be like and what it’s going to bring in to my life! I still have so much to see and so many people to meet. And I still have so much work, so much to build before I get those dreams of mine running. I’m excited and I’m on my way.

Up we go! ๐Ÿ˜‰

It feels weird to be treated so well, to be in a non-toxic environment, to simply be a person among over people… I come from a polluted place; I stomped outta the door, my feet are clean now. I let go of those toxic relationships I clung onto for the last few years and I felt so lightweight… So lightweight that the winds of change flew me away to a land of greener grass. Honestly, not holding any grudges but fuck ’em. Thank you guys, but fuck you. I’m glad you’re out of my life, leaves more room for better friends; I’m glad you aren’t taking up all of my time/thoughts, leaves more room for love and light which I’ll now spread. I am very much alive. I am happy. And I’m only getting started.

Until next post, don’t stop believing. โค

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GOING HOME AGAIN!!


I am going home today and gosh I’m really excited.

I’m really happy to be going home again! It’s only been about six months since I last seen my family and homeland IRL but somehow I was craving it way more than I did after having been away for a whole year and a half! I’m going to see a lot of people I haven’t seen in a while also, like highschool friends, and my lovely lovely cousin whom I haven’t seen since we were kids somehow! I’m really REALLY excited! So many memories to make and a lot of fuel to stock up on!

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I’ll be staying up until mid-August. And while I’m there, I’ll get to play some (right-handed… </3) guitar and bit of piano too but I don’t really know how to. So I might be able to record something slightly more interesting to put on my youtube channel and same for #2. I’ll probably hire my little brother as a cameraman or just borrow his tablet to record things. And I’m excited about that too!

And I’m thinking that I might actually get around to finish a song that I started back when I still had Glitch but never got around to finish or maybe even write new ones! I’m just really dying to play some music again so I think that the melodies might just flow out of my mouth and break my fingers. Which is such a good thing! I can’t believe that I went six months without a guitar/uke and am still alive! I really didn’t think it was possible and yet, look at me. Starving for some strings but still breathing! *clap clap clap*

I’m going to be jumping straight off a cliff after that (not literally; don’t worry) but there will be a really pretty and warm net to catch me and so I’ll get to build my wings with a little less pressure! And I’m excited about that too. I actually still have to deal with some paperwork to get everything in order for that next travel while I’m home (which sucks but is for the good cause).

So yeah. Family. Friends. Art. Mountains. MY OCEAN. Rain. Lots of rain. This is just going to be awesome and I really can’t wait!!! But I really should go to bed now as I have to wake up at 5 or something to make sure I have enough time to get ready and check everything before I leave for the train. I’m going to be so tired and such a mess!

While I’m gone for a long long long day and until I can get something better out there, maybe enjoy this 5-day-old good enough cover?…

Cheers!!! I hope I can sleep because I won’t be able to drag that heavy ass suitcase around if I don’t. So many books. What am I?

Until next post, don’t forget to remind those you love how much you love them and how precious they are because you never know (and especially before you step on a plane because sometimes they just fly into another dimension and what the fuck). โค

Today was hot!


Today was hot.

I’ve seen hotter days but it was a tough one. When the weather’s hot like that, I’m just like mom and can’t eat much and, tbh, can’t do much either. So, after a tiny lunch we went for a ride together with my brother and his father, heading to a place with water or trees or both, to breathe!! Obviously the nice spots were already taken, it being a Sunday afternoon! Usually families go “secure spots” early in the morning and settle there for the whole day; clever people!! We still found a nice spot though. Not near the sea but rather closer to the mountains.

With only a few percents of battery left (cos I’m clever like that), I only managed to get a few pictures of the landscapes. It only got me frustrated to take the pictures though. My phone’s camera sucks, this is no news. But, had I had a better phone or hell, an actual camera and even a good one, I’d still have felt the same. I mean, I’ve seen breathtaking pictures of places I’ve never been to and also of my homeland but these are just pictures. To me, they lack the soul.

I was out there today and it was so beautiful, amazing colors and perfection everywhere and I don’t see it in my pictures. And it’s sad because I’d like everyone that reads me, knows me, to see and feel how beautiful this place is, because it is. And my pictures, my words, nothing is ever up to the mighty work of Mother Nature. It kind of made me sad to realize that. I wish I could actually paint like the great painters, you know, and create things that actually compliment Nature’s perfection.

Anyways, let’s get to the pictures!

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It’s all so much more beautiful IRL! Sugar canes, lots of trees, the sea, the mountain; YES. I don’t think I’ll be able to get some pictures of the volcano though because it’s hot and it’s even hotter there as there’s zero tree to hide underneath but maybe… :3

It was really fun! We didn’t stay for that long cos mom was getting hungry but we had fun. We even played with rocks and sticks cos that’s how we do it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

We got to pick some fruits which are delicious. The goyave, a tiny little red berry thing I guess, and the zembrozade, a yellow thing rather hollow and with a big seed inside (you can hear it move if you shake the fruit haha!) also sweet and yum yum! However, when I decided to take pictures, I had almost eaten everything. BUT, fear not, there are three mediocre pictures to illustrate this mediocre paragraph:

The first picture would’ve been full of red dots if I had been a “normal” person and taken a picture of my food before I’d start to eat! ๐Ÿ˜›

The only trick to know when eating freshly picked goyaves and zembrozades is to take off the little “beak” because sometimes there can be a few tiny bugs in there, usually ants but today I found ladybugs in mine! I was like “ew!” but then, you know, stillย put the thing in my mouth (without the bug, obviously x) ). ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m flying back to Lille this Friday and it seems so far away yet too close. I’m a bit scared to be honest. It’s gonna be really hard to leave again and I’m going to miss everyone and everything so badly! But it’s also going to be hard to be back there and face all the mayhem I left behind… It makes me really sad to leave also because I have no idea when I’ll be able to be back again! However, I’m also really excited to get back to Lille because I have so many things to do and work on to build my own path to my own many destinations and I can’t wait to get things moving faster.

I’m really torn but I think that’s exactly the way things should be right now. So many feelings and thoughts that I can’t put into words right now cos it’s already midnight and I’m tired, why ain’t I sleeping?

I still have a few days ahead of me so I’ll try to fill up my batteries as much as I can afford and then I’ll be jumping off the cliff and building my wings on the way down (wink wink Bradbury)!

Alright, this post is a wreck! Just a few more pictures and then I’ll disappear.

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The pictures with mom are so funny because we could’ve sworn we were really close to each other when Gab’s took the pics! But then, he showed us and we were like standing in these weird positions like wtf xD And then, my brother just didn’t want to stand anymore so I had to carry him to get a picture!ย The boy is quite heavy, don’t be fooled by his skinny appearance! ๐Ÿ˜›

Alright, I should go to bed now. I’m meeting with an old friend this afternoon and Lilly will be here too, so it’s going to be fun! And this just reminded me, I need pictures with Lilly!! I’ll see to it tomorrow!

Stay hydrated and remember that memories are stored in our hearts and mind, not necessarily on paper and shit. But, if you’re like me and images, faces, and pretty much anything else, fade fast in your mind, take as much pictures as you can to refresh your memory now and then! โค

P.S.: I soooooooo need to reorganize my categories and everything on my blog because I’m so lost! I can’t believe that I left it like that for so long! I don’t even know where to put what cos it’s sh*t! x) Will do as soon as I’m back!

New year, same us!


2016 is finally behind us! I love turning pages cos you never know what’s going to be on the next one. This new year holds so much! So many opportunities to seize, memories to make, hits to take and scars to shape! Scary yet exciting. I have no idea what’s going to happen nor how it’s going to happen and I’m not ready but still got my boot on the start line! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’m not going to reflect on that year just yet, I’d rather focus on being around my family right now. But I will, probably as soon as I get back in Lille or Idk. Right now I’ll just share some pics so my first post of the year is full of smiles and light!

We aren’t exactly the partying type so we’ve had very quiet and chill days but we still have fun our way. The rain has yet to come so it’s been a bit hot but still okay. I had ice cream for breakfast this morning cos I’m an adult. ๐Ÿ˜€

I always look awkward in the pictures my brother take of me. Don’t I look lost or something? haha

I just needed to share my pretty dress somewhere as the only ones who’ve seen me are my tiny family. hehe Not exactly the best thing to wear here but I’m not very hot and I can’t give up black EVER

My little brother also wanted to “decorate” his eyes so I did as he asked! He has a hard time smiling. It’s either he makes a weird face or he looks weirdly neutral. But I still love him!

img_20161231_210827We had a nice dinner last night. I took a pic of the table like all the weird people do. Mom is the best!ย  It was just smoked chicken because there was so much and we were full we couldn’t get to the cari zourite (local thing, that’s like tiny octopuses cooked with a knowledge I don’t own) which we therefore ate for lunch today. Then we went at my sis and slept there after having played some Dobble ( a fun card game ), Uno and Scrabble which I almost won! ๐Ÿ™‚

Today we put table decoration on our faces because who doesn’t? Sis’ son was a little upset when they arrived but he tagged along anyway!

I have two pics of me holding him and I look really pale in one but hey, I apparently am according to mom, bff and sis so it’s whatever.

Oh, and just to add some Nature in that post, I’ll show you this. That’s a bit of the path we take to go at my sis’ new place. She lives really close now it’s awesome! We can see the mountain nearly everywhere we are; I love that so much! >w< There’s a lot of sugar cane fields everywhere and that’s great.ย  I haven’t really been out of town so far so really, you’re only going to see the same side of the same mountain and same for the sea! ๐Ÿ˜›

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I’d like to point out that I am the tallest so far. And it’s funny cos I’m so tiny around everyone else! I truly hope that Gaby does get taller than me though cos I don’t wanna be! x) And as you can see, like mother like daughter, my mom has a hard time posing. :3

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Then we had a selfie spree and I’m posting them all cos it’s precious! We don’t have that much pictures of us together so this is gooooold! Also our first pictures with the little Hugo! โค

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And last but not least, a pic of all five of us! It was hard getting all our heads to fit in there but we managed!

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It’s only missing Lilly in the picture cos she was away today! But I’ll make sure to force her into some once she’s back!

Love love love! I still have a little less than twelve days to spend here, I’m trying my best to make them shine.

I am thankful for 2016’s bullshit cos it was actually some nice lvl up potions hidden in a big pile of stinky shit. And I’m really happy to have been able to close that chapter with these weird people on this weird floating piece of rock full of lava. This is the best way to put it all behind and find the strength to kick the next one in the teeth and get back to being the main player in that game.

They can be really annoying but even then their light still shines brighter than any wonder and make a part of me smile. I’d be nothing without them. โค

So, yeah, bring it on 2017. It’d be nice if we could be friends! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Glitch & Crash chilling on a pile of clothes


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Look at my two babies chilling together! I went through a lot to get these two and it’s worth remembering…

 

I bought Crash last year on March, 2nd (and I just screamed because I JUST realized that I MISSED his birthday… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ) after Twenty One Pilots’ Tyler Joseph talked me into it(I swear he did… Through his awesomeness and songs! ๐Ÿ˜€ ).ย I remember I was trying to write a song for my best friend with Revenge(which was my first electric guitar, a right-handed one! I shall write a post about her one of these days, she deserves it!) and trying to put other words into melodies but I just couldn’t get it right. So I thought “why not buy a uke? It sounds fun and I think it’ll help me unblock whatever it is that is block or at least just take a break from playing just the guitar”. #actualthoughts

I was staying at my sister’s for college and the only piano which our family owned(which is a very old electric one) was at our mom’s place and I was really not getting anywhere with Revenge so I bought it. I remember it didn’t get delivered at the flat because, for whatever reason, they had come early in the morning(and by early I mean 9AM probably…) and didn’t even call. So I had to take a bus โ€“ and I, of course, dragged Leslie through all this with me โ€“ย and go to a somewhat far place to grab my uke. It was a nice little adventure and I was so excited. I still remember when we sat at the bus stop and I got him out of the box he was in so I could put him in his Gator soft case. He had this amazing smellย โ€“ and still has todayย โ€“ and I was seduced. It’s got to be the smell of the wood or something but I love it. Every time I smell it, it reminds me of the sun of my home and of the food I ate at the university refectory(they had these amazing chicken kebabs, on Mondays if I recall, with french fries!!!! And there was also this dude that was always there and I liked seeing him, nothing more to it! ๐Ÿ˜› )and of a lot of good things.

So, Crash is an electro-acoustic soprano ukulele. More precisely the Eagletone Coconut S20EQ electro acoustic ukulele. And above all else, he’s my friend(as sad as this may sound). He’s really important to me. Like, a little earlier this year I was considering selling him to get a few money to save to go to UK. This is one of the worst idea I ever had. I’m glad I didn’t. He smells so good and even though he’s not perfect, I like his sound and I love when we make music together! ๐Ÿ˜€

 

And then, there’s Glitch(a beautiful green left-handed Eastwood Airline Bighorn)ย which I got on January, 5th of this year. After three months of my left index finger healing from the โ€“ huuuuuge(not) โ€“ and me desperately waiting, I finally understood that my finger, even though it healed okay, wouldn’t allow me to play guitar as a right-handed anymore. It took me three months to realize that. But when I realized it, I immediately ordered it on woodbrass.com. I remember it was a rainy day and after that I was broke and survived with sardines and bread. Ha ha! But it was worth it all.

Went to the post office to pick it up โ€“ย because AGAIN I missed the delivery โ€“ and with that same friend, Leslie! ๐Ÿ˜‰ The package was so light I was scared there was nothing in it. When I arrived at my house and opened it, God, it was so shiny! First thing I did was take a picture to show my mom why I would be leaving under a bridge in a few months! ๐Ÿ˜›

One of the best thing that happened to me this year. I mean, she even made cutting my finger sound like the best thing ever! I’ve been a left-handed player for almost four months now and I’ve made progress so much faster than I did with Revenge and probably mostly because I have only now realized how much I wanted music to be a part of my life and how easily things could be taken away from me.

I have only two hands, this my second but surely also my last one. I can’t mess this up. Music is all I am so I’ll do more than just my best to keep it in my life. I don’t see myself doing anything else and sincerely, if this dream is taken away from me my heart will cease to pump blood in my veins and I would cease to exist. I don’t see the point of a life without music. And I surely can’t picture MY life without music.

 

Here’s to us! Here’s to dreams! Here’s to the present! Here’s to food! Here’s to the future! And here’s to bleeding fingers!