A little week off. Ugh.

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This is definitely a decision I have to make against my heart’s will. But I know it’s for the best.

Although it went unnoticed for the whole month, I have been a little overwhelmed and under pressure with all these new challenges, which brought with them only more wishes/desire to get better faster. See, the thing is that I wasn’t feeling nervous at all nor stressed out, only tired, so I was confused when anxiety showed up again. And, I should’ve known better… But what it took was a phone call with my very good friend Esther to realize that was it.

For once, I guess, the ones I’ve always recognized as enemies (although as loyal as perfect allies), turned out to be trying to help me. Maybe it wasn’t the first time. What do I know?

Anyways. What that means is that, sadly, I have to stay away from the pubs and the social life this week! Well, it’s only four days, really. Plus the weekend. Which should be alright! I’d really love to go because it feels so great to perform. But I need some time to recenter myself, get in touch with all that’s happening within again and just, chill, also! Ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚

So, this should be a pretty quiet couple of days! I have a lovely adventured planned for the weekend with my new friend Maria! But apart from that, there’s going to be loads of staying in with perhaps some solo outings again! There might be some new art to share since that’ll leave some chill time in my evenings! Speaking of, theย art blog thingy is finally a thingy! All wibbly wobbly, click here guys!!

That’s it for the little update! I’m feeling good though, don’t worry. I just need to step away from the spotlight for a little while because I almost lost myself to this whole dream transition to reality madfuck trip. Getting back on my feet. I got this! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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What are you without me?/What you are without me

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After a two week break, I’m finally back to working on my voice and music! So, today I posted a Brandi Carlile cover on my channel: here. And I’m here to share with you something else.

It’s been a while since I wanted to do this, putting those two songs side by side in a video! At first I thought of working on a transition but then I thought “nah, fuck it”. So, no transition, just two brothers chilling together. Haha

As always, I got a lil tangled at the end of the second song but I still managed to keep a somewhat OK thingy going on there.

Anyways, no real big deal, and surely nothing new. But I think these are my two favorite songs I’ve written so far. I really like Dry Mouth also!!

Until next post, keep practicing! โค

Blessed.

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I went to the Fota wildlife park with Esther today. We spent a solid five hours in there just walking around and contemplating the immense beauty and wit of Nature.

It was such a magical experience! I saw so many animals I had never ever seen before like kangaroos, giraffes, lions and penguins.

Now, most of the animals there are endangered species which is a heartbreaking sight. They are all so beautiful and mighty and oh so deserving of the love & life the Earth unconditionally provides. And it is a terrible fact that they are struggling to still be a part of it all..

But I’m happy to know that there are places like Fota where they can be safe and treated like they deserve.

So, it was a really beautiful day out there, with my dear friend, E! And I feel so inspired now.

This was our last Sunday together before she goes back home! Which is pretty sad but I have yet to come to terms with the feelings, as I know that we will meet again on Thursday, the day before we both leave. And, therefore I know that the last goodbye hasn’t been said yet so it’s almost like it’s not happening..

Denial aside, I’m gonna miss her! And beautiful weekends like these together also!

Anyways. I’m really tired from the whole day walking so I’m off to bed early. Can’t wait for tomorrow so I can work on music again!

I’ll end this on the sweetest picture I took today:

This is all too precious. I am thankful beyond words. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how beautiful the universe is. I swear, this is so intense! Haha

Until next post, spread the love โค

A little sketch for Esther!

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Hi everyone!

I wanted to share with you something I drew the other day for my dear friend, E!

It is a wibbly wobbly sketch of one of the pictures we took while in Kilkenny together! Some of the proportions don’t make sense but I still think it’s lovely. Surely doesn’t bring out the beauty of her hand, though. Hehe

She is going back to her homeland pretty soon and I will miss her dearly. So, I just keep making stuff for her. Filling them with love and the silent wish that I never fade in her memories.

We always have such a good time together and it makes me so happy to know that I can trust her with my head and heart.

Three cheers for friendship!

Positive bullets #5

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Finally back with some P.B.; it’s been a while!

I’m in need for some of those bright vibes, warm reminders, to feel okay tonight. So, let’s shoot that happiness!

  • Peppermint tea!
  • When my host mom makes me tea
  • Bob Seger
  • When the sun hits the trees and they’re so colorful and bright!
  • My mom’s knitted creations!
  • Knowing that I can play the guitar right-handed AND left-handed
  • The vibrations in my body when I sing
  • Caffรจ Nero in town
  • Those chocolate bars that look like butts
  • Hugs
  • The way Esther says my name
  • Button mushrooms & broccoli
  • Soy sauce
  • My kitty slippers
  • Using silly words to censor myself when chatting with the kids
  • My flower-printed bed sheets
  • My yellow shoes
  • When the wind makes my dress sway gently and it feels like I’m flying
  • The way my best friend says “ah la la”, and even better, when we say it at the same time!
  • Jason Bateman he he
  • Cat videos!
  • Will Arnett’s voice
  • That feeling when I understand music theory material
  • When my fingertips hurt from playing the guitar
  • That first stretch in the morning that feels like death and life at once
  • My little pony socks
  • Peanut butter and banana toasts!!!!!

Alrighty! Five minutes out!

I do feel better now. ๐Ÿ™‚

For those of you that have no idea wth this is: It’s a thing I started back in 2016(?) when the storm was going pretty strong. I set a timer for five minutes and I jot down things that make me smile, that make me happy, things I enjoy, etc. It serves as a reminder of the light that surrounds us. And it’s like a little positivity shot!

Sometimes you can feel lost or overwhelmed by the silliest things, so it’s always nice to sit down and remember those little sparks that brighten up your life. It’s comforting. And as you write them down, it tickles those memories in your brain, and you smile as you recall how they make you feel. And you breathe better once you’re done as you remember that there is so much good in your life, no matter the amount of darkness, no matter how worn out life can get you.

Until next post, keep your eyes peeled; the Light is here! โค

What Are You Without Me? (Original song)

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I’m so happy to finally be able to post something again in that category! It’s nothing too wow but here’s an original song that I wrote earlier this month. It’s short but I like it that way. Hear me struggle on the guitar:

I literally wrote it in under two minutes while I was on an idea spree! Which explains a lot, I guess.. Ha ha!

If I’m being honest, it’s about how sometimes, via social medias, I check on people who are not part of my life anymore. Just to see how they’re doing, what are they doing now but, honestly, more to see if my leaving their life has caused an impossible-to-fill void somewhere. I’m exaggerating, of course. But I think that we all have those little intrusive thoughts sometimes.

Are they happier without me? Do they miss me? What has my absence changed for them?

I personally know that, for some people that left, it does feel that way. They do leave a void. Which you can’t feel but you don’t to anyways so it’s fine. But for those I’m singing about, it doesn’t. I don’t know if you heard but I don’t miss them. Ha ha!

Sometimes I simply wonder if being without me is hard for them. Because they were such dicks to me and I kept giving my best till it all collapsed. I’d feel good knowing that they do miss me and have yet to find someone to care about them the way I did. But also, I don’t care.

Anyways. Fun song! Haha

What are you without me?

I need to know you’re doing worse

I need to prove to me my own worth

I need to know you’re not better off

I know it’s selfish

But you were such a bitch

I known it’s in the past

But my heart’s still in a cast

So, tell me you miss me

Show me you need me

Cos I don’t

But if you do, then I won’t

Tell you I miss you

Tell you that I need you

Cause I don’t!

Watercolor portrait of Dee, 04.01.18

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Hi! Yesterday I was trying desperately to learn intervals on the guitar and do some sight reading too and what made it better was having Dee by my side.

For those who don’t know, Dee is the impersonation of my friendship with Esther and therefore is filled with love, darkness and weird. She gave him to me last Christmas and ever since he’s been like our little mascot! He’s always with us when we hang out!

So, as Dee had been staring at me for a couple hours and I needed a break, I figured I could use some watercolor practice and he deserved a beautiful portrait!

So here’s Dee in the woods. Sorta. Behold:

Big boy on his school picture! hehe

I’ve gotten better at watercolor since my first attemptย when I bought some watercolor pencils(which have now been passed onto my best friend, Lilly)! But there’s still a long way to go…

It’s hard to control the water properly and also I have a hard time getting any details really. But I’ll get there!

I used pastel in the sky and a little bit in the dark areas below the trees too. Oh and for the black in his eyes since I don’t have black in my palette!

The trees were painted in the same style I made this watercolor back at my mom’s place last year.

I like it very much!! Took me longer than it should have but I’ve been very distracted lately and lacking energy too which renders me slower than usual.

Anyways. That’s probably gonna be my only art of the day!

I’ve got some guitar to do now and also, maybe before, go for a fucking walk to allow my mind to breathe a bit!

Just two more pictures! Side to side:

Until next post, practice, practice, practice! But don’t forget to take breaks, drink lots of water and stretch&move to keep your wonderful bodies and minds healthy! โค

P.S.: I had forgotten to add the links to my previous posts like a silly goose I am! But it’s all fixed now! x)