Weakened fire dying for the weekend.

Standard

A heartbreak. And another. And a lighter one.

Although I managed to stand through it all, it hit me hard and work didn’t exactly happen. Which is funny because I’m one of those that strongly believe that heartbreaks fuel art. I guess that forcing a smile really is self-destructive after all. My heart is muted once again. I’m working on it. I’ll get things out eventually.

This week was slow and fast. This week was heavy but weighted nothing. I survived. Or did I?

I’m glad it’s a new month. Helps me put things in perspective and maybe will be enough a kickstart for me to truly get back on track and work harder.

Today I finished a pastel winter landscape I started a couple of weeks ago. I was following a tutorial to help me understand a few basics. It was great. I’m happy with it. You can see it on my Instagram if you want or it’ll probably pop up on my blog later this month.

I’m still here. I’m still the fire. Just gotta remember how to burn and burn brighter..

Advertisements

I’ve got a migraine but, oh, how it doesn’t matter one bit.

Standard

Ever since I started keeping my bullet journal (since the end of November), I’ve been noticing a lot of things and feeling more in control of some aspects of my life. And, I will definitely write about it in a much longer post one of these days because I love the concept so much!

So, I’ve been doing some mood tracking alongside my regular tracker and it just goes to show how little things can affect my mood. Now, I don’t think I have found the best way to do it yet. It still needs some perfecting. Because, if there is one thing I understand, is how emotions fluctuate throughout the day and there’s not just one set mood per day and sometimes there are even many coexisting at once. Mood, emotions, they’re much more complicated than a simple “happy face” day or “sad face day”. So I have to keep looking for a better way to track the flux and flow.

December to the left and current January to the right. Anyway. The only reason I’m mentioning this right now is because, as the title gives it away, today I had a moderate migraine throughout most of the day. But it didn’t affect my mood negatively like it usually would’ve had.

 

Having been around the kids for so long now, it’s made me realize that getting cranky when in pain or hungry is a very normal thing. And so, I was surprised today to find my cheerful self not beaten down by the migraine! I played with the kids, I even got some work done and I’ve not been cranky or anything. Sure, I’ve been frowning when it hits and hurts my head. But, I’ve just been doing really good.

Today was the first day back in school for the kids and we did pretty good. Even through the migraine, I mean! We were super on time in the morning and homework was a piece of cake. We did a reasonable amount of playing and cuddling in the afternoon. AND we watched some Bob Ross in the evening while waiting for their mama to come back. (Yeah, those kids are so cool, they sincerely love Bob Ross and so they’re always up to chill and watch The Joy of Painting with me!)

Funny thing is that tomorrow there’s no school. Teacher training day! SO, we’re starting off pretty smoothly. It’s all good!

I’m happy to be back in the routine. It gives me more time on my own and I hope to use it all more wisely from now on and work harder on guitar/voice and all that matters to me!

I’m also really happy to see familiar faces again! I mean, I don’t know them. They don’t know me. But seeing them everyday kind of keeps my life together in a way.You know, it’s that weird stranger relationship thing…

I posted some clips of me singing on my Instagram this morning. Some Halestorm and a lil bit of Sinatra. Goodness! Ha ha I’ve just honestly been really surprised and delighted lately by my voice. It’s just sort of happening before my eyes. It’s coming out again, guys!!! And it gives me so much hope for the future because I’ve made so much progress ever since I’ve been dreaming of becoming a singer! I remember how I used to struggle with really simple things back when I was 16 and now, I can do them and I can do so much more too!

I’m happening!..

One last note, I’ve one small trip planned this weekend with Esther and another one next weekend. I’m looking very much forward to it! Some adventure!! And spending more time with her… I’m just really excited!

Cheers! Until next post, embrace the yellow! ❤

P.S.: I’ve been watching a couple videos on youtube this evening while working on music theory and man… I’m just so excited to start gigging!! I don’t know when but I need it to happen soon! I’m trying my best to work hard and harder because I am simply not good enough right now. So, I need to work towards a good enough level so I can start as a gigging baby! Need to be able to play enough songs and also, I’d like to have a nice amount of originals! But I promise I’m gonna make it happen soon! Hopefully next month!?? I sure do hope so!

How’s that first week going?

Standard

HI hi hi! This is my blog, I wanted to talk about my day and so I will do just that.

IMG_20180105_211123_182.jpg

Much love for my host mom!

Maybe it sounds silly to you, but I sometimes forget that this is, indeed, my blog. It is my personal blog. But I sometimes get so caught up in the whole productivity log side of it and also, the deeper side of writing, that I feel like simple posts like this don’t belong on here. But, they do; of course, they do!

And as an individual, my emotions, my thoughts, my moods and my reactions to the Universe’s flow come in different colors and shades and shapes. And all of them are valid and worth, if no one else’s, my own time. They all deserved to be acknowledged, appreciated and embraced.

Now, this is so not what this post is going to be about but I think it is worth the mention. One of my new year’s resolutions is to “let my emotions shine again” which is intimately linked to “Not be afraid to be fully me, always.” Where these come from is the poor coping mechanism that originated from all the self-censor and shutting down provoked by the small repetitive teasing & joking around of my peers.

I could write a lot about this topic, and I will, eventually at some point. All I wanted to say right now is that it is an issue that I am working on and this what this post is about in a way also. Allowing all parts of myself to shine and co-exist on my blog is a first step towards that goal of gaining back what I thought I had to steal from myself to survive. So, let’s start, shall we?!

So far, this week has been going pretty good for me on many aspects!

I recovered from my sore throat very quickly and I’ve been rather productive. I mostly stayed in the house until I was sure I was completely recovered but I didn’t go crazy! I did a nice little amount of walking these past two days to make up for it, and I got to see Esther again (finally!!).

Today, I spent a long time in the morning working on the next chapter of my story, Uncage the Night. It’s coming along pretty nicely although I’m still unsure whether to keep that chapter as part of the story or keep it as an extra, after the story ends. It’s a disturbing one, but in a different way than every other is disturbing… It’s really weird to write it but it is such a crucial part of the story. Maybe not crucial but it is part of it and there is no way for me to just cut it out. It’s here to stay. One way or another.

Then, it took me forever to get ready as I was chatting with my best friend at the same time. I went for a walk down to Douglas. The plan was to go out for lunch on my own again and launch myself into yet another personal/creative project that I’m starting this year(which I’ll talk about later in another post! 😉 ). But, what I got instead was ten new markers and a tiny anxiety fit. Yeah…

It was a very small one but it took a lot of energy out of me. I swear it was such a teensy-weensy one. I wanted to go to a certain restaurant to eat, but as I walked in front of it and I saw the people inside, I just kept walking past it. And literally nothing happened. But there was anxiety involved and it still drained me. So I walked back up, took the loooong way home, and got me some chocolate chip cookies on my way back. It was tiny, but it still wrecked me; physically and mentally.

My body was tired. I was disappointed and a little bit saddened by the very lame surprise that interrupted my good time out. And when I got home, all I did was sing. Which helped me feel better. I just now posted a few clips on my Instagram and also a new cover on my YouTube channel. And I’m really happy about it in a way because, although it is FAR from really good, I can hear so much progress in my voice and it just sounds so… I’m not sure what it is. But it gives me hope & confidence about my musical future to be honest.

On the same topic, I’ve secured my spot for the 25th February vocal workshop in Douglas. I paid (I mean, my best friend did and I sent her a fancy fancy chèque) and I just can’t wait to go!! This is going to be soooo awesome!

IMG_20180105_181142_836.jpg

After the singing, when my host family got back home, I played around with watercolor for a few minutes, still needed to settled down from the anxiety fit. And then I did some hand study, using my crooked hands as reference. Using my A5 sketchbook more is part of my goals for this month because I only used it four times during my evening art classes and I’m not gonna lie, the size impresses me a bit; so I’m stepping out of the comfort zone, into the progress zone, yo!

 

I also worked on music theory. And well, what I’ve been doing is, basically, go back to the start of my book (once again!) to take notes this time with every chapter as I feel it helps me digest the content better. So right now my learning is in suspension, at the chord progressions chapter, and with my notes I’ve just reached the scales chapter (which is only four chapters away). I’ll catch up eventually! Goal for the month also!

If you follow my Instagram, you would know that I’ve finally gotten more serious about my learning to write with my left-hand. I have managed to work a bit on it everyday so far. And I intend to keep it that way. I’m doing really good!

Just like with the guitar, it is not actually learning, it is more about passing on already acquired skills to my left-hand. I can write pretty well already. It is shaky, slow and clumsy but I’m confident that by the end of this year, I’ll be very good at it!

Screenshot_2018-01-05-18-17-35.png

In other news, there’s a tropical cyclone close to my island right now. ‘Tis the season after all. We often got cyclones in January, I remember. Last time I read about it it was right on top of Madagascar and it’s been doing a lot of damages over there. It is so big compared to tiny Reunion Island! Ha ha ha. I went through a small storm a little while ago here in Ireland, so, chacun son tour!

And I think that’s about it for today! It was pretty weird and all over the place, but overall, it was a very good day! I still had a good time outside and walking still felt good through the struggle. Being home to my host family at the end of the day also helped a lot! And I am glad that I managed to get some work done!

Here’s to markers and anxiety fits! hehe

wp-1515188769281..jpg

P.S.: I haven’t touched my guitar very much during this week or ever since the school break to be honest. But I’m very excited since the Synyster Gates school has finally been launched! Anybody heard of it? Anyways, the kids are going back to school next week so that’ll mean more guitar time for me!!! ❤

Welcome home, dear Nostrum!

Standard

On October 11th, a dream I had for about eight months now came true. I got my new guitar and it turned my life around once more.

Since I have finally named her, I can, at last, write about it on my lovely lovely messy website. And today marks her two months anniversary, so it is the perfect opportunity!

 

When she arrived I was so overwhelmed I had to live chat with my mom and brother just so I could open the box and see her with my own two eyes. When the outburst of emotions finally chillaxed, I proceeded to take many many pictures with her– of course! I haven’t been playing with her every single day like I’d love to but we’ve spent lots of time together these past two months, and it was pretty sweet. I missed this so much!

From my two brown eyes’ point of view, a relationship with an instrument, just like any other, is also very spiritual; it’s not all about the touching and the strumming… There’s much more to it; soul-food, magic; an instrument can be, or maybe, should be, more than “just it“. It’s a friend, a partner in crime, a weapon to brandish at the sky and howl at the moon with. I mean, it’s not just an instrument; when you create with it, you allow this deep and sincere connection to exist because you let yourself be vulnerable, you let it see your insides and you willingly share your private parts with it. And, no, this is not just a poetic excuse for my slacking off! 😛

It took me a few days to actually start practicing with her because I needed time to adjust and accept her as a new part of my life. But even without practicing with her, the link between our two selves grows. In fact, I instantly felt connected to her once I put her in my room. And now that I’ve been playing more frequently, I feel closer and closer to her and I think that’s why I was finally able to get a feel for a name! So let’s talk about it for a bit, shall we?

The name…

Nostrum (n.)

  • a medicine made by the person who recommends it, sold with exaggerated or false claims with no actual proof of its efficiency
  • “quack medicine”
  • cure-all;
  • a pet scheme for solving issues, mainly social or political ones
  • panacea
  • my left-handed Epiphone Les Paul Custom Pro

Honestly, I did not really give too much thought to it. I was just fooling around with my “word of the day” app on my phone and it showed up and I was like “Oooh…”.

What got me was the “quack medicine” part. Because music and art is what I turn to in my dark times and if you’d ask me, I’d recommend it to solve any issue, soothe any burn, heal any wound and I’d assure you it is THE cure you need. And I like to sprinkle a pinch of doubt on everything, because it is necessary and also I do find it funny? So, using that word to name my weapon of choice is that for me. Meaningful and funny. Also, “no strum”… I mean, come on! I love it.

On a more serious tone, as much as she definitely is not a cure-all, Nostrum is a very good friend. Like, I remember writing on my Instagram one night how she already knew my heart even though we had barely just met.

[…] There’s nothing like music. And nothing like a fancy varnished piece of wood that allows your heart to bleed shamelessly and doesn’t condemn silence. She can already hear what I haven’t even thought yet.” I remember; I had had a rough day (emotionally speaking) but I didn’t have to work the afternoon so I managed to shower and focus on myself; I picked her up and even though I was doing some tedious theory practice, it fixed my mood. We do have a connection. It was an instant one and it grows with every breath, with every strum and every sigh. *You Raise Me Upppp starts playing in the back*IMG_20171011_195825_142.jpg

This is a piece of paper that came with Nostrum and it perfectly put it into words.

Remember it is one of your most intimate possessions–closer to you perhaps than anything else you may own. For it is the voice of the music within you, singing or sighing with your mood and forever faithful to your innermost whims. […] Give it the best you have and the best will come back to you.

Your instrument is an intimate friend and a door to your intimate parts. It knows you. And there is magic happening when you get together…

On working together…

It has been two months now and I have managed to gain back my very few left-handed skills.

For the record, I’ve been through so many changes I’m surprised my hands&brain didn’t get motion-sickness? Was right-handed, had to learn left-handed, then play right-handed again, then not play at all for so long, then play right-handed again, and then play left-handed again. I’m not gonna lie, frustration has been around a couple of times and I felt like banging my head on the walls way too many times. But I’m back on the left side now and I’m feeling good! My strumming is coming back nicely, finger-picking is doing okay and fretting hand isn’t so flexible but we’re getting there.

Just like when I first transitioned to left-handedness, the progress made was surprisingly fast and I am happy it was so. I should be able to write music again now but I’m not sure how fast that is going to happen! Ha ha. But I will. I’ll squeeze it out if I have to! I need to.

I’ve been considering many things like open mics and even busking. I will do them. But I still need some more practice and also songs to play… But I’m getting good enough to at least do a very simple performance on an open mic one night, I think. My host parents were talking with me about it and they said we should be going together to help me get started. And I think I could really use their presence!

Now that I think about it, I’ve never done anything like it before. I’ve never performed in front of more than one person at once! Well, sure when I was a kid we did some shows at the end of the school year, but I gotta admit I used to pretend to sing because I didn’t give a shit and it was pretty lame. My only real stage performances were during my high-school years with theater. I did pretty good then.

I love being on a stage and it somehow makes my performances better. I swear, during rehearsals I was okay, even pretty good sometimes, but on stage, I’d deliver so much more and it would feel much better also! I can’t wait to actually perform as a musician because once I start I am never gonna stop!

Nostrum and I

A new guitar marked the beginning of yet another chapter in this second volume of my life and it had to be marked also with a new picture; mandatory! So, I tried recreating the picture of Glitch and I because it looked pretty cool! However, I was not able to… (achieve the same level of coolness cos I’m an old woman trapped in a 21-year-old body)

I tried the same position at first but it wouldn’t work out. So instead, I went for what came naturally. I tried many different poses but I could not get it to feel the same. I thought that maybe with the editing after, I could get it right. But it did not happen. And then I understood why: everything is different and no amount of editing could copy all that misery and darkness onto my brighter self.

Things have changed. Things have remained the same. I’ve grown. I’ve shrunk. I’ve learned; I’ve forgotten. But the promise is still a thing. My dreams are still a thing. My fighting on never giving up is still a thing. I’m still a thing. Just a better thing! I’m not as miserable, not as lost and not surrounded by so much bullshit anymore. I am not wasting my time anymore; I’m doing things and I’m loving brighter.

This little family of mine has underwent many changes. Friends have died, friends have left, friends have been thrown away. Glitch was sold, Crash was given with love to my amazing best friend, Lilly. We’ve been desperate, at the bottom of the whole and on the edge of the cliff. We’ve drown and learned to swim. We’ve died and dived back in. But Nostrum is here to stay. And we’ll do great things together, mark my words!

cropped-img_20171111_202004.jpg

This is my favorite picture of us so far because of the light and my yellow sweater.

I’ve entered a new chapter, bigger chapter of my life and this bright light is devouring me but the shadows are still here, creeping on me. But you’ll notice how darkness and light coexist perfectly. There’s room for both of them and worth in both of them.

Yellow is a beautiful color and has always been my favorite (*wink wink* Winnie the Pooh). It’s bright and strong and warm but also is the color of some fallen leaves in autumn, the undertone of my skin color (thx mama) and… that’s it! I love pairing it with black and grey! Three cheers for yellow!!!

That light is Ireland. That light is me. That light is my darkness. That light is my new friends my Irish family and all that’s new and that’s yet to come. That light is so bright it covers my smile and you have Nostrum and I in the middle of it all, so close together and ready to take it on.

Welcome home, Nostrum! I will love you and we will love together. I’m looking forward to creating art together and performing it and painting life a brighter shade of black together.

Cheers guys! ❤

Three covers with Lady R.

Video

Reunited at last. And as much as I don’t feel comfortable playing right-handed anymore, I can still enjoy some time with Revenge when I’m home. That’s a good feeling! ❤

So, enjoy three videos I made this afternoon with my little brother’s tablet and witness the confusion. I actually still suck pretty bad at playing & singing, but doing it as a right-handed with songs I barely just learnt is harder. Ha ha!

 

Until next post, keep working hard towards your goals and don’t let frustration or life or people discourage you from making whatever you wish into a reality. ❤

 

I know.

Standard

The lights come on; the darkness shines again.

The good feelings slide down her body and onto the floor like a dress made out of silk and the weight returns to her shoulders. And there she stands, naked and covered in darkness, under the bright lights that reveal the skeleton of the stage; the flesh and bones of the magical beings she was one with only seconds ago. It is a long and quiet walk back to the hotel room. There are so many feelings, so many reactions and too many thoughts racing through her right now. She smiles. Forever.

The light leaves her eyes and fills the room.

She lies on the bed all night long. Her body enjoys its comfort during these eternal seven hours during which she cannot fall asleep. Buzzing in her head, ringing in her ears, a smile glued to her tired yet blissful face and that feeling devouring her heart and soul. It eats her away, but not in the way that you’d think. It eats her away and makes her whole again. It fills these empty spaces, the dots on the map, the blank spaces in the story. And she’s being chewed on all night. And all morning. And all week. And it never ends.

The light leaves the lamp and fills her heart.

She recalls that night where darkness was home to light and she was all lit up. The stage had her. Her eyes, her ears, her heart and mind. Not a piece of her was kept to herself. She was wide open and her insides enjoyed the fresh air for once. She recalls home as she stands in the middle of her dark room. She looks outside and sees the lighters held up high in the sky. And as she eagerly presses the button on her phone, the first note hits her and takes her back to the stage. Now she’s standing on it, with her heroes besides her and she is the one she knows she is growing to be. She closes her eyes and lets the rain inside drown out the beat of her impatient heart.

The light leaves the moon and goes back to the sun. But the darkness inside is not gone nor is the revived flames and the eternal light, and they eat away at her. Forever. And she smiles.


This was my attempt at writing how attending the Avenged Sevenfold show made me feel. I wrote it in my phone while I was dizzy on my way back home the morning after with zero sleep and eventually forgot about the note. And as I was looking through my phone a few weeks ago I saw it again and I thought that it was really interesting. So I edited it and then eventually read it in a video on channel #2 BUT I somehow never found the time nor the will to really publish it on here! But, finally here it is! x)

Attending this show was like one of the best things that happened to me so far this year. It just gave some truths I already was familiar with a much louder voice and it was like a sweet sweet REMINDER.

Out there, in the dark, the noise, the crowd, the fire (thank you Disturbed for the pyrooooo!!), I found my place. At first, I wanted to title this text “Homesick from shows” because that’s how it felt like and still feels like. I was in a perfect place where I could breathe and feel my everything just smile at the universe and I had to walk away from it and into a dull room filled with bitterness and anxiety; that hollow polka dotted shell.

And for the following weeks, I wore the biggest smile and I was just filled with everything good, everything strong and I still had that feeling inside of me. It had become like a second skin but one that I wore under my flawed flesh bag, like warm tights under my worn out jeans in winter. And it kept me feeling strong for a long while. Then, yes, I had a bit of a good fall but it only showed me where I stood or at least, where I aimed to stand once I could cement my bones back together again.

When I read these few paragraphs again last week for my video, I just felt the fire burn inside of me. It was like the flames were reacting to my reading out loud those words, like my nephew reacting to my sister’s laughter or my dog to my calling his name. The flame inside was rejoicing as I was re-discovering its existence and giving it enough space to breathe anew.

I was assaulted by yet another wave of darkness, that hit me real hard. And it only added to the heavy cloud I carry around. Half of me might still be down or maybe less. But it doesn’t matter. The mayhem inside, the light from the show is here and the many flames that I am, alongside the rain that is also me; it’s all still here and it fuels me. Just like my fear. And just like my joy and the kind loving words of the souls that I encounter. I don’t live like I’m not alive anymore. I am stronger now and I can clearly see where I’m aiming, and I won’t stop shooting. I’m not allowing myself to stand in my way anymore!

I already knew. I always knew that this was what I wanted. But after that night, I knew.

This isn’t a dream anymore nor has it actually ever been. It isn’t just something to believe in and hope for it to happen, hope that I have what it takes to make it happen. No. After that night, it was crystal clear; it is truth, a fact, a reality that I only have to walk towards. It is happening. It will happen. There is no other way. Not because I hope it will; not because I have decided it will. Because there is no other way. This is the reality that I have been walking towards ever since I learnt how to and even when I wasn’t noticing, every step that I laid before me (and sometimes behind or above/underneath; fuck straight lines) were and still are leading there.

I don’t think the Universe is merciless, I think it is full of love and compassion and if you show it your heart, it’ll help. Maybe there is such a thing as fate, but maybe it isn’t such a sad thing as a steel path your ankles are chained to and you have to follow forever. Maybe it is that dull pre-written grey path that we all are set out to walk on as we come into this world… But maybe with our ability to love, hope, dream, and all of that magic of the soul, it slowly becomes filled with flowers and trees and sunshine, and whatnots as we walk through it, and through life as the universe reads each of our hearts’ sighs and sends us these ladders and fuel tanks when it deems our wishes honest enough. I don’t know about that, I can only make up these little stories like a kid and try to explain the unexplainable to my underused ape brain.

But what I’m sure that I know now is what I want. And from now on, I’ll be walking towards my reality while actually looking at it, and seeing its shiny top far away on the horizon and following that damn light. I’m not walking a confused walk anymore. I see it. I know it. And I’m happening.

I am the fire. And I know how I want to burn.

Everything you need is already inside of you, it’s just all up to you to decide what you use, how much, how long and what for. I know you probably hear that a lot around you and it sounds so cliché and maybe you’re one of those that are like “seek of hearing this Hakuna Matata motto from people who won the lotto but [you’re] not that lucky” (direct quote from Set It Off’s Why Worry, awesome song, go listen!!!). But lemme tell you, I’ve been in places, situations, states of mind and I’ve seen and heard stories, and I can assure you that YOU ARE THE KEY. And I know that it’s usually pretty hard to realize it, especially when you’re deep in the whole, been there, done that. But it is indeed true. And that’s why I will keep repeating it while I still can, while I still stand.

This is one of those things that you know deep inside of you. You have the power over your life, maybe not always completely with all the money bullshit and such, but always over how you experience things, how you react and how you let it all impact you. Sometimes you need a reminder. So I’ll keep repeating it, to remind myself, and remind you.

You are the fire. You are the fuel. You can get up. You can stand up again. And you can decide where to go, who to be. It’s all up to you. The key’s in your hands,down your throat, in your heart. Trust yourself and let your light shine.

Anyways. I hope I did spread some light or at least a few sparks. And hmm, well… Until next post, don’t forget. ❤

Let the Mother’s voice heal you.

Image

Spent a long hour outside this afternoon while on the phone with the mama(as today’s Mothers Day here; finally! I was so sure it was last week and that my mom wouldn’t receive my letter on time but then realized it was this week so I was relieved but she told me she still hasn’t got it so, bummer. WHICH IS VERY WEIRD; it’s taking way too long, wtf!).

I think I mentioned this in my previous post but a few days ago, I got to venture out of my comfort zone and discovered a little piece of heaven only a few minutes walk away from my place. And today, I went there again BUT also a little further! And only to realize that the lake which I pass by when I take the bus (which is what I intended to find in the first place) was only less than a minute away from it! I was blown away. They were just as close as I saw on the map, if only I had bothered looking to my freaking right that day! Ha ha

So, there were fewer ducks (just when I’m willing to take pictures, of course!), only ONE swan but plenty of weeping willows! If you see a tiny black dot on a picture it’s probably a duck and if it’s white, it’s gotta be the swan; use your IMAGINATION! 😛 The pictures I took are, as usual, pretty sh*t (did I just fucking censor myself?) but I needed them, to remember and to show my mom and sis.

I will try to go there at least once a week for the rest of the time that I have to spend here because it’s such a beautiful place.

I feel really good when I walk near the water, hearing the birds sing and the ducks fight, and seeing people walking their dog and smiling. It’s such an amazing feeling. And I cross the path of really nice people there too! I mean, I don’t know if it’s the influence of the peaceful environment or if it’s just because it’s from a smaller side of the city. But they’re really nice and they even say hello to me! I’d be weirded out if someone would just “hello!” me as I walk in the city, but there, it simply makes sense. And it feels awesome. Reminds me of home, you know.

Also, I got to see one of the cats that I met there the other day and pet him again! He’s funny cos he like, won’t flinch or run away when I approach him, he’ll let me pet him and even meow at me, but then he just walks away in the middle of it. And when I start leaving he looks at me as if he was expecting me to keep on petting him. Like, make up your mind, cat!

Jokes aside though, I’m really thankful because I need cats in my life to keep my sanity here and they’re just a natural part of my life, ya know. I can’t conceive a life without a cat or a dog by my side, the same way I can’t conceive a life without music because it’s always been around, it just makes sense to have it and it’s vital. And yet, look at me, no guitar, no cat, no dog and I sometimes go days without singing. Like, make up your mind, human! 😛

Going there today reminded me just how powerful Mother Nature is and how she can heal. The birds and the wind were singing to me(well, to all, but let me focus on myself plz), the colors were speaking to me and the simple harmony of everything was comforting this weeping soul. Nature heals better than any pills or any human can; the Mother knows how and she does it right. She knows what to say, what to do to ease the mind of those who seek Her. And also, having my mom on the phone at the same time and hearing her voice too helped! I remembered how she, too, knows how to heal this heart of mine and how she does it without even realizing it. ❤

Anyways, this was supposed to be a shorter post but meh, you should know by now, I can’t do that! x) Here’s a lil’ slideshow for you to enjoy! 😉

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Until next post, be kind to Mother Earth ❤