Singing my blog post

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(Which you can read here if you’re curious. I also have a poem called “Color me undead”, which you can check out as well by clicking here!)

Yeah, that’s it. I just sat down with Breff’s guitar and sang the post. Haha

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How’s that first week going?

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HI hi hi! This is my blog, I wanted to talk about my day and so I will do just that.

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Much love for my host mom!

Maybe it sounds silly to you, but I sometimes forget that this is, indeed, my blog. It is my personal blog. But I sometimes get so caught up in the whole productivity log side of it and also, the deeper side of writing, that I feel like simple posts like this don’t belong on here. But, they do; of course, they do!

And as an individual, my emotions, my thoughts, my moods and my reactions to the Universe’s flow come in different colors and shades and shapes. And all of them are valid and worth, if no one else’s, my own time. They all deserved to be acknowledged, appreciated and embraced.

Now, this is so not what this post is going to be about but I think it is worth the mention. One of my new year’s resolutions is to “let my emotions shine again” which is intimately linked to “Not be afraid to be fully me, always.” Where these come from is the poor coping mechanism that originated from all the self-censor and shutting down provoked by the small repetitive teasing & joking around of my peers.

I could write a lot about this topic, and I will, eventually at some point. All I wanted to say right now is that it is an issue that I am working on and this what this post is about in a way also. Allowing all parts of myself to shine and co-exist on my blog is a first step towards that goal of gaining back what I thought I had to steal from myself to survive. So, let’s start, shall we?!

So far, this week has been going pretty good for me on many aspects!

I recovered from my sore throat very quickly and I’ve been rather productive. I mostly stayed in the house until I was sure I was completely recovered but I didn’t go crazy! I did a nice little amount of walking these past two days to make up for it, and I got to see Esther again (finally!!).

Today, I spent a long time in the morning working on the next chapter of my story, Uncage the Night. It’s coming along pretty nicely although I’m still unsure whether to keep that chapter as part of the story or keep it as an extra, after the story ends. It’s a disturbing one, but in a different way than every other is disturbing… It’s really weird to write it but it is such a crucial part of the story. Maybe not crucial but it is part of it and there is no way for me to just cut it out. It’s here to stay. One way or another.

Then, it took me forever to get ready as I was chatting with my best friend at the same time. I went for a walk down to Douglas. The plan was to go out for lunch on my own again and launch myself into yet another personal/creative project that I’m starting this year(which I’ll talk about later in another post! 😉 ). But, what I got instead was ten new markers and a tiny anxiety fit. Yeah…

It was a very small one but it took a lot of energy out of me. I swear it was such a teensy-weensy one. I wanted to go to a certain restaurant to eat, but as I walked in front of it and I saw the people inside, I just kept walking past it. And literally nothing happened. But there was anxiety involved and it still drained me. So I walked back up, took the loooong way home, and got me some chocolate chip cookies on my way back. It was tiny, but it still wrecked me; physically and mentally.

My body was tired. I was disappointed and a little bit saddened by the very lame surprise that interrupted my good time out. And when I got home, all I did was sing. Which helped me feel better. I just now posted a few clips on my Instagram and also a new cover on my YouTube channel. And I’m really happy about it in a way because, although it is FAR from really good, I can hear so much progress in my voice and it just sounds so… I’m not sure what it is. But it gives me hope & confidence about my musical future to be honest.

On the same topic, I’ve secured my spot for the 25th February vocal workshop in Douglas. I paid (I mean, my best friend did and I sent her a fancy fancy chèque) and I just can’t wait to go!! This is going to be soooo awesome!

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After the singing, when my host family got back home, I played around with watercolor for a few minutes, still needed to settled down from the anxiety fit. And then I did some hand study, using my crooked hands as reference. Using my A5 sketchbook more is part of my goals for this month because I only used it four times during my evening art classes and I’m not gonna lie, the size impresses me a bit; so I’m stepping out of the comfort zone, into the progress zone, yo!

 

I also worked on music theory. And well, what I’ve been doing is, basically, go back to the start of my book (once again!) to take notes this time with every chapter as I feel it helps me digest the content better. So right now my learning is in suspension, at the chord progressions chapter, and with my notes I’ve just reached the scales chapter (which is only four chapters away). I’ll catch up eventually! Goal for the month also!

If you follow my Instagram, you would know that I’ve finally gotten more serious about my learning to write with my left-hand. I have managed to work a bit on it everyday so far. And I intend to keep it that way. I’m doing really good!

Just like with the guitar, it is not actually learning, it is more about passing on already acquired skills to my left-hand. I can write pretty well already. It is shaky, slow and clumsy but I’m confident that by the end of this year, I’ll be very good at it!

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In other news, there’s a tropical cyclone close to my island right now. ‘Tis the season after all. We often got cyclones in January, I remember. Last time I read about it it was right on top of Madagascar and it’s been doing a lot of damages over there. It is so big compared to tiny Reunion Island! Ha ha ha. I went through a small storm a little while ago here in Ireland, so, chacun son tour!

And I think that’s about it for today! It was pretty weird and all over the place, but overall, it was a very good day! I still had a good time outside and walking still felt good through the struggle. Being home to my host family at the end of the day also helped a lot! And I am glad that I managed to get some work done!

Here’s to markers and anxiety fits! hehe

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P.S.: I haven’t touched my guitar very much during this week or ever since the school break to be honest. But I’m very excited since the Synyster Gates school has finally been launched! Anybody heard of it? Anyways, the kids are going back to school next week so that’ll mean more guitar time for me!!! ❤

A shitty cover of CTE’s Millennia

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My little brother said it wasn’t perfect but it didn’t suck either and that it was okay so I could post it. So there it is. Full of mistakes, I know, and as always the video/audio quality is so shit it’s sad but I had fun and I kinda like it!

I love this song. I will do it more justice in another video another day. I can do better. And I will.

Until next post, don’t forget to warm up before doing anything at all not to hurt your precious little bodies! ❤

Two covers!

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I haven’t be up to much these past few weeks. Been feeling pretty down. I still tried to push through but it was hard! Still, I managed to work a lot on the next chapter of Uncage the Night, and look, today I got to record two crappy half-assed shit-quality covers!! So I guess that’s something to be happy about! Just kidding! I am really happy about it. I’m happy that I got to sing again after such a long while of dark silence in this room! I still wasn’t free of the pressure of the neighbors and what if I’d bother them, but I still let go a tiny little bit. It felt really great and I hope that even if the quality is overall pretty poop, that you’ll enjoy it too! 🙂

This is such a  beautiful song. And it’s funny how, even though I’ve kept on listening to it as I grew up, I find myself needing it just as hard as I did a few years back when the storm got me real down. And so I’ve been listening to it a lot more these past few days and it feels really good. Soooo wish I could learn it on guitar… </3

And this one is one of my favorite LIGHTS song! I mean the whole album Siberia (the acoustic one) just captured my everything. She has an amazing voice and often in the electro-music that she writes, part of that magic dies BUT there’s also another force that emerges there and I’ve learnt to love both her acoustic and electric works. They all have that special thing and well, this is one of my favorite song from this album. The lyrics will explain…

Alright, short post. Not that there’s much more to add anyways. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything music-related on here and boy, does that show how well my life has been going! haha

It felt really great to la la la a bit even if I still had that mental-block that refrains me from giving too much into the music, afraid I’d bother one of my neighbors could really possibly be working any time of the day. And well, it’s always hear, the little mental wall. Sometimes I feel I’m free and I start going for them notes, opening that mouth and just… Swallowing it all back down as the wall punches my forehead. Anyways, it was fun and felt really great considering the week I had. I’m also very tired so I didn’t have as much fun as I could’ve had but hey.

Anyways. Short post. It’s 7AM, I’m gonna see if I can sleep a bit now. I’m a complete trainwreck. ❤