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13, 13. Coincidence? I think not!


It has been thirteen days since my last post and thirteen years since I first saw Finding Nemo. Time does fly by so fast yet so slow… Took my last retake exam today and went shopping right after it. AND I went to the movies to watch Finding Dory. It was amazing! Ten seconds in and my eyes were already tearing up. I had forgotten how intensely emotional Pixar productions can get and honestly, this one really hit me like at least 20 times throughout the whole story. It felt so good to meet the characters again and learn more about Dory’s background. And so many life lessons!

The tough times just keep coming at me but I’m okay with that. I’ll keep swimming. Against the current. And naked. For real, though. There is always a way, you just gotta keep your eyes and heart open and keep moving forward. Faith and hope are the things negative people try to take away from you because they know it is the key to existence, you know. You just gotta keep believing that there will be a better day, that things will get better, that you’ll eventually get there wherever “there” might be. I’ve heard of this thing called “regression to the mean” in Teen Wolf once which is a statistical phenomenon. And basically, the way I understood it is that it means that things won’t always be good and they won’t always be bad. There will be times where everything is awesome and times where everything is awful but eventually, things will come back to a neutral place. It’s the natural balance of things. So yeah, so far, 2016 and let’s take it up to September 2015, haven’t been really easy on me and it won’t seem to stop but it will. Soon enough I’ll get to that calmer place in life where I’ll take a breather and get prepared for the next wave. Until then I’ll keep moving on through the aches and pains and keep those dreams of mine held tight and dearly in my fists as I fight for a life worth fighting for.

I’m really happy that this all over for now. I really hope I do get really good grades for these exams but I won’t let it break me if I don’t. But, in all honesty, right now, all I can think about is how I’m finally gonna be able to go back to my guitar, my pencils, my paint and my long days of swimming in my element. For now I still have to rest and relax, my body is exhausted so I might take the whole weekend “off”, still torturing myself with art-deprivation BUT preserving my health. I got really scared about my wrists this week so from now on I’m really going to be careful and make sure I warm up EVERY TIME before I play and take it easy with knives too. Yes, it took me this long to realize how important my body was to my becoming a musician/artist. πŸ˜›

I really missed typing but I gotta stop because my wrists need a real good rest. I hope you’re all doing great and that, like me, you went to the movies to claim your childhood back(and did get it back only with a big bag of tears and chicken nuggets). And I hope you’re keeping your head up if you’re going through tough times(who isn’t? πŸ˜‰ ) and you’re not taking shit from anyone. Dream on, dreamers and do on, doers. Remember to be thankful for all you don’t have and all you’ve got; see the beauty and preciousness in everything.

And KEEP SWIMMING! ❀

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My first watercolor palette!


Yesterday I went out for a walk. Went to the post office to sendΒ two gifts for my little brother and ended up walking to the city center. My first intention was just to get some cash for the laundromat but I ended up buying this too. It’s my first ever watercolor palette. I’ve only ever used watercolor pencils so I bought this for a change. I actually wanted to buy a small set of oil paint but I didn’t have enough money. 😦 Maybe next month!

So it’s a very small palette of 10 colors. It comes with a small brush. It fits in the hand and can be easily taken everywhere with you due to the very compact size. And there’s also this metallic ring underneath the box which you can put your finger through when you hold it in your hand. It’s really nice. Haven’t tried it just yet but usually Daler Rowney products are okay and well, affordable.

I believe it was a wise choice. Can’t wait to miserably fail at using it. πŸ˜€

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I’ve been thinking and…


Remember how I said that my Booksie “issue” brought me down in that article? Well, finding my music theory books in my mailbox last night at around 10pm(yes, I only leave my house when the moon is out)got me back on my feet and got me thinking.

I already realized how silly it was to let a website shatter me like that, but of course, I couldn’t help it. Now, maybe they will reply to my mail next week and the issue will be fixed but until then, and in case they don’t ever do, I’ve got to do something.Β I spent many years of my life waiting for things to turn around so I could make the best of them but now that I’m older(alright I’m turning 20 this year and IT IS a big deal! haha) I’ve assimilated the fact that everything is up to me. If I want things to happen, I gotta go and make them happen, not just wait around for the “right time” or until I’m ready. I’ll never be ready and now is the right time(I’ve got a shirt with that exact sentence written on, I shit you not!).

Back to my point, I’ve decided to do something instead of waiting for Booksie to reply to me and get my account and (very very few) fans back. Being on Booksie had given me the strength to get some discipline in my life and work a bit everyday on my stories so that I could post my chapters. I got way more attention on there than on Wattpad and well, it fueled me. But maybe I held on too much to it which is why I felt so lost and panicked when I was… wiped out, I guess. I’ve talked some sense into my cuckoo head and decided to start posting my stories on my blog alongside with Wattpad. (Alright, I didn’t say I had a genius idea! But yeah it still didn’t come to me right away, I had to think to realize that.)

From now on, I’ll be posting all my writings on my blog too. I’m not gonna put everything at once or it would feel like too much. So, to start it off, I’ll post one chapter or two per day(for now I only have five chapters for the story I’m currently working on)on here. That means I’m gonna have to reorganize a few things but I’ll be just fine. I think it’s important to have my work on different platforms. And as this is my blog, I think it makes extreme sense to have my stories on here as they’re a big part of me and this bog is supposed to be a window on my insides. πŸ˜€

I think it’s funny how I always end up doing what I said I would do. I remember last year thinking about creating a website where I would share everything I do and write about my life and stuff, and look at me now! Haha And it feels really good for me to realize that because I spent (and actually still do) a long time with people that would always talk, talk, talk and talk but never do. I like to know I’m not so much like that.